


Impermanence

by Latart0903



Series: Strengths and weaknesses [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season 2, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latart0903/pseuds/Latart0903
Summary: Keith and Shiro have history. And now they finally have each other. And Voltron. And an intergalactic war to fight… Why can’t Keith’s life ever be easy?





	1. Not again...

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4 is set directly after Part 1 and during season 2. I’m keeping this aligned with what happens during season 2 but I’m being a little more liberal with the timeline because many of the episodes are direct continuations from the prior episode and don’t leave much downtime. I mean, Zarkon’s gotta sleep at some point in time, right?
> 
> A few things will be mentioned from Strengths and Weaknesses Part 1 but generally Part 4 does not need any backstory other than the fact that Keith has just told Shiro the entire story of their romantic relationship back at the Galaxy Garrison and Shiro is willing but hesitant to resume said relationship.
> 
> Thank you to avidbeader for beta reading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when your boyfriend leaves for a mission, goes missing and is presumed dead, but was actually abducted by aliens and then falls back into your lap with PTSD and forgets you had a relationship? You retell your whole history and remain supportive and patient. What happens after that? Good question...

A routine started. Each night, the paladins would retire to their individual rooms. Each night, Keith would wait until the castle was quiet and then would sneak next door to Shiro’s room. The two would lie on Shiro's bed and reflect on the day’s events or reminisce about their days back on Earth. Shiro would hold Keith tightly until he drifted off to sleep. Shiro's memories of imprisonment terrorized his dreams almost every night, but Keith was there to comfort him until he fell back into a peaceful sleep. Just before the others awakened, Keith would kiss Shiro’s forehead and return to his own room.

 

And they did not go further than that.

 

\-----

 

Whoever designed this stupid castle apparently found it amusing to have all sorts of advanced technology and amenities, but only one communal shower room, except for the private bath off of Allura’s quarters.

 

Keith usually attempted to shower during off-hours; he always felt uncomfortable being casually naked around others. Lance, of course, did not mind. Whatsoever. He would stand around engaging Keith in a full-on conversation without batting an eye while Keith tried to hide himself unsuccessfully behind a tiny shelf of toiletries. And Coran… Keith avoided his routine shower times like the plague. Or an ion cannon. 

 

Today, thank you, universe for continuing to fuck with my life, Keith passed Shiro while entering the shower room. Shiro had just finished up and had a towel tied around his waist. Beads of water held onto his pectorals while Keith held onto his sanity by averting his eyes. Shiro shot Keith a quick wink and a warm smile. When the door to the room closed, Keith felt like screaming on his scrotum’s behalf.

 

Keith stood under the running water, willing himself not to bang his head on the wall. Instead, he looked around to make sure no one else was around before he grasped his cock at the base. He sucked in a humid breath as he slowly pumped his fist. Just like back on Earth, spending all this time with Shiro was resulting in some seriously pent-up sexual frustration. This time almost felt worse since the physical contact was already there, teasing and tempting him. Cuddling. Sleeping in the same bed. Keith found himself wondering if they would do more than that each and every single… fucking… night... But nothing more ever happened… It was making him crazy. Why did it feel like he was always chasing Shiro? Because I am...

 

Keith found it odd that during long stretches of sexual inactivity, his libido was almost dormant. But now, even though Keith still wasn’t getting any, the innocent physicality was enough for his sex drive to awaken with a fierce vengeance. So, needless to say, he found himself in the communal showers a little more often than he used to.

 

Keith kept his moaning to low, small sounds suppressed deep in his throat as he thought about the day that Shiro would touch him again. 

 

“Oh, not again!!” a high-pitched voice complained from behind.

 

Keith startled and inhaled some water. He leaned against the tile in a coughing fit. Stupid Lance.

 

“What the... hell, Lance?!” Keith choked.

 

As expected, Lance stood pointing and laughing. “Dude, you shower like, ten times a day! What's the deal?”

 

“Mind your own fucking business and stop writing down every time you see me in the damn shower…” Keith’s cheeks and neck felt red-hot. His penis on the other hand… was not and gradually lost its length.

 

“Pff… I’m not writing shit down about you. You’re so full of yourself. I just try to grab open shower times but you're always in here. What gives? You're hogging all the shower time.”

 

Keith flushed even more, keeping his back to Lance, “No… no, I'm not,” he sputtered.

 

“Whatever,” Lance jested. “It's like you just figured out how your junk works. I know Allura’s been lookin’ all kinds of fine lately but you need to leave some water for the rest of us, bro. Actually, I think there’s this Altean mating cycle where they put out mad pheromones... that girl’s gotten me going lately-”

 

“Ew!! What the- Oh, god no. No. Seriously, will you go away!!?”

 

“What is it then!? Did you find some Altean porn or something? I betcha Coran’s got a stash somewhere. Huh... why didn't I think of that? I need to ask him... I wonder if all Altean women look like Allura…”

 

“Lance!!! Goddammit!!!!” Keith hissed, interrupting Lance's lack of internal dialogue. “Go the fuck away!”

 

“Fine,” Lance laughed. “Give me a heads up when you’re done beating off.” Keith heard Lance's high-pitched giggles as he walked out of the room and down the hall.

 

\-----

 

“I think we need to address shower times. Again.” Lance announced while the paladins broke for lunch later that day.

 

Keith death-stared Lance to no avail. He was immune. Or oblivious. Likely the latter.

 

“OK, Lance.” Shiro, of course, tried to be diplomatic about it. Keith cringed. “I thought you four sorted this out already but… What seems to be the problem?”

 

“Keith is spending waaaaaaayyy too much time in the showers lately,” Lance complained. Pidge blushed and shrank into her seat; Hunk started whistling, looking around the room.

 

Shiro raised an eyebrow, “OK… could you be more specific?”

 

Goddammit, Shiro.

 

Keith’s insult-defense mechanism kicked in. “You're being a little bitch, Lance. Mind your own goddamn business.”

 

Shiro quickly got the gist of the issue at hand. “Um, OK… why don't we just agree on a schedule? Can I trust you guys to figure that out amongst yourselves?”

 

“I think that's a great idea,” Pidge chimed in, not wanting to discuss Keith’s sexual frustrations any longer than necessary.

 

Keith groaned in embarrassment and stared at his plate for the rest of the meal.

 

\-----

 

Keith walked into Shiro's room that night, as usual. Shiro was already lying in his bed in his black tank. He gave Keith a knowing little smirk. “Did Lance walk in on you again?”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Shiro,” Keith whined as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Stupid fucking Lance…” 

 

Shiro attempted to stifle his giggles with his pillow. “I almost couldn't keep a straight face at lunch…”

 

Keith furrowed his brow at Shiro and pouted. “I'm not staying if you're going to laugh at me all night…” Shiro laughed harder so Keith stood up, threatening to walk out. Shiro's strong, robotic arm, however, wrapped around his waist and effortlessly manhandled him down onto the bed. Keith giggled at Shiro’s superhuman strength. “You're like a video game character.”

 

Shiro just grinned as he squeezed Keith into his chest and nuzzled his face into the crook of Keith's neck.

 

Keith relaxed contentedly into Shiro. “Actually, wasn't there a Mortal Kombat character with a robotic arm?” Keith racked his brain. “What the fuck was his name?”

 

Shiro lifted his head, thinking. “Kano??”

 

“No… I think he had the laser eye...” Keith recalled. 

 

“Cyrax?”

 

“No...That was an actual cyborg.” Their nostalgic conversations about trivial crap from Earth was always a welcome break for Keith’s exhausted brain. “Jax!!! It was Jax!!

 

“Oh, right! I loved that stupid game when I was thirteen. My aunt hated it; she thought it was so violent.”

 

“I would give anything to sit and mindlessly play a video game right now,” Keith said.

 

“Kung Lao was my favorite character. I knew all of the combos for him.”

 

“Oh! He threw his hat with the blades, right? I liked Noob Saibot and all the other ninjas,” Keith reminisced and smiled. “Bunnie in Sonic the Hedgehog also had a robotic arm… and legs.” 

 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…”

 

Keith laughed. “Actually scratch video games, you know what I’d kill for?” Besides a blow job… Or any sort of orgasm NOT caused by my own hand...

 

“What?” Shiro asked into his pillow

 

“A fucking hamburger. It could be a greasy, nasty-ass White Castle burger, I wouldn’t care.” 

 

Shiro laughed. “Gross… I could go for a steak, though.”

 

“I miss your rice.”

 

Shiro groaned, “Don’t remind me. I’ve been craving rice. I miss tea, as well.”

 

“I miss caffeine in general. And beer. Nunvill just doesn’t cut it.”

 

“You’re still not old enough to be drinking,” Shiro just had to add.

 

“Whatever,” Keith dismissed. “I could eat gallons of ice cream right now.”

 

“You sound like you’re pregnant,” Shiro laughed.

 

“Um... you’d inhale a box of cookies right now if I set them in front of you,” Keith grinned. “Remember those amazing cookies Celine brought over that Hunk made for her? Now he makes fucking scaultrite cookies.”

 

“Oh my god… do not remind me of that wormhole jump,” Shiro griped.

 

“I almost pissed my pants,” Keith admitted. “I think Hunk actually did…”

 

Shiro chuckled and then they fell into their normal comfortable silence, Keith listening to Shiro’s breathing. As usual, Shiro closed his eyes and got comfortable while Keith lay fully awake, eyes open, mind wandering. More and more, it went to his blade. More and more, Keith started thinking that there was more to his heritage than he previously thought. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember his mother’s face anymore. Her face became more hazy and just out of reach of his mind’s eye. Did she look Galra? Keith would’ve remembered purple skin and glowing eyes. Right? If his suspicions were true though, what would the others think? More importantly, what would Shiro think?

 

“You OK?” Shiro asked, keeping his eyes closed.

 

“Um, yeah. I’m fine,” Keith lied. How does he always fucking know?

 

“You’re all tense. That usually means you’re worried about something,” Shiro noted.

 

“Nope. Everything’s cool. Well, you know… considering the circumstances… I guess,” Keith answered.

 

Shiro chuckled and opened one eye to look at Keith. He then held Keith tighter. And Keith melted.

 

\-----

 

Shiro sat on the cold floor. The frigid and bleak surroundings coupled with the despair he’d recently settled into had seeped into his veins and saturated his soul. No matter what he did, he was always cold; inside and out. He shuddered when he heard the familiar footsteps down the hall. Please don’t stop at my cell. Please don’t stop at my cell. Please don’t-

 

“It is time.” The Galra soldier stopped outside of Shiro’s cell. The witch with glowing eyes stood beside him.

 

Not again… Shiro glared at the floor and shook his head. Since his most recent fight, the swelling around his black eye had finally gone down. He’d managed to reset his dislocated shoulder. But the bones ached deep inside his forearm. He ran his hand over the stump of his wrist disarticulation. The stitches had long since been removed but the skin didn’t look right. The stump blackened more and more with each day. “I don’t know how the fuck you think I can fight with one hand,” Shiro spat. He’d finally gotten used to the phantom sensation. He’d finally stopped trying to use his dominant hand to pick things up. But he relived the fight that resulted in the loss of his hand each night.

 

“You will fight,” the witch demanded.

 

Shiro stood and approached the cell door. The witch’s yellow eyes bored into him. “No.”

 

She presented him with a strange knife-like apparatus made to fit over his forearm for the fight. Shiro growled, “I said no!”

 

She reached her hand between the bars and gripped the roots of Shiro’s hair at his forehead, sending a jolt of something that felt like electricity through his body. When she released him, he slumped into the bars, twitching. “N-No…” he managed to stutter.

 

Her lip curled in disdain for her most stubborn alien prisoner. She wrapped her bony fingers around his throat and dug her nails into the flesh surrounding his Adam’s apple. Shiro felt warm blood trickle down his neck as he struggled to breathe. “I will let go when you agree to fight. Do not disappoint Zarkon.” 

 

He writhed while white spots began to hinder his vision and a buzzing sound deafened his ears. The witch’s yellow eyes slowly faded...

 

\-----

 

“No!!!” Shiro shouted into the subtly lit room. He sat up, heaving deep breaths, grateful for the air that filled his lungs. He grasped at his throat and felt the faint scars. He was immediately comforted by Keith’s hand smoothing the hair away from his sweat-slicked forehead.

 

“Shhh,” Keith whispered, sitting up with Shiro. “It’s just a dream. I’m here. You’re OK.”

 

Shiro’s breathing slowed as he lay back down with Keith. He found solace in Keith’s soothing embrace and the dim, artificial lights that reflected on his purple eyes.

 

Shiro succumbed to sleep once again.

 

\-----

 

Keith kissed Shiro’s forehead before closing the door.


	2. Is this how it ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised this beginning scene to a few readers who wanted to know what happens after chapter 26 in Part 1 of “Strengths & Weaknesses”… It doesn’t require backstory if you don’t remember or didn’t read. Just know that it’s a little smutty… <3
> 
> This chapter might be a little intense with the wide variety of feels as the additional tag suggests… I hope it’s not too crazy for everyone.
> 
> This chapter is set between episodes 5 and 6 of Season 2.

Keith could not sleep after relocating to his own room while he waited for morning. Whenever he was alone, whenever he was idle, his wandering mind tortured him.  _ Is Zarkon finding us because of me? Am I compromising Voltron?  _

 

Keith’s chest tightened with anxiety. Feeling as if he was overheating, he pulled off his tee, rolled over, and closed his eyes to redirect his thoughts. The smell of Shiro still clung to his shirt balled on the pillow. He buried his face into the comforting scent and let his mind drift away from Zarkon. Away from the Galra. Away from his duties as a paladin of Voltron.

 

\-----

 

They arrived in Death Valley early in the afternoon. Keith opened the hotel door with the newly issued keycard while Shiro stood behind him with their bags. Once inside, Keith tossed the card onto a side table and stretched, grateful to be out of the car. Out of habit, he pulled off his shoes at the entrance while looking around and taking in the dated western decor of his temporary surroundings.

 

He heard the bags drop to the floor and then felt Shiro approach from behind, hand ghosting under his shirt and up the small of his back. “Do you remember what I told you last night?” Shiro whispered into Keith’s ear.

 

Keith grinned and played dumb. “Um... ‘This cat seriously loves you’?”

 

“After that…” 

 

“Mmm… You said your aunt’s cat liked me because I’m sweet.”

 

“After that…” Shiro’s hands wandered to Keith’s waist and he buried his nose in Keith’s raven hair.

 

“You said, ‘I really want you…’”

 

Shiro pulled Keith’s hips back into his suggestively. “And then?”

 

Keith’s breath hitched. He could feel Shiro brushing his hair away and mouth curling into a smile on the back of his neck. “You said... you were going to have your way with me when we stopped in Death Valley.”

 

“Uh huh…” Shiro exhaled.

 

“Are you sure we don’t need to go see like, tourist sights or some shit? I don’t want to hear you complaining later that we didn’t see anything,” Keith bantered facetiously.

 

Shiro didn’t answer. Instead he pulled Keith’s tee up and over his head. He twisted the shirt and then reached around, skillfully binding Keith’s wrists together. He pulled them up and behind his head, stretching and lengthening his torso. Keith swallowed hard.  _ OK, this is new…  _ “Ah… no sand dunes?” Keith whispered, fluttering his eyes shut while Shiro ran his hand across his chest and rolled Keith's left nipple between his fingers. 

 

Shiro’s other hand slid down the sparse trail of hair on Keith’s abdomen and into the narrow space between the waistbands of his jeans and underwear. “Sand dunes? You don’t want to get fucked?”

 

Shiro’s words always left Keith’s head swimming. “Uh… yeah… I just thought you wanted to see, um, stuff,” Keith mumbled, losing even more brain function as blood rushed to his groin. 

 

Shiro unbuttoned Keith’s fly and hooked his thumbs over the waistband. He slid the pants down Keith’s slender hips while dropping to his knees. Keith felt the heat of Shiro’s breath permeate the barely-there fabric of his trunks as he spoke. “Everything I want to see is right here.”

 

“Mmm… OK,” Keith sighed. 

 

Shiro abruptly yanked Keith’s trunks down, leaving him breathless for a split-second. He then felt Shiro’s tongue lathe along the cleft of his ass and then muscle its way deeper. It was still difficult for Keith not to instinctively tense up, but Shiro’s touch coaxed him to let go. Shiro paused to let Keith step out of his garments before nudging his legs to widen his stance. He then spread Keith’s ass cheeks with his hands to bury his tongue and tease the sensitive pucker of his asshole. Keith’s cock twitched and a melting tingle electrified his spine when Shiro began making tiny, wet circles with his tongue.

 

Keith just wanted to crumple onto the bed but it was several steps away. He wanted to grasp onto a pillow or Shiro’s arm or a fucking doorknob but his hands were tied. Literally. Keith’s mouth dropped open and his eyes rolled back when Shiro pushed his tongue through the quivering muscle of his anal sphincter. “Ngh, Shiro. Oh, god. Fuck!”

 

Shiro licked up and into his asshole and repeated, building up to an intoxicating rhythm; Keith’s body swayed with the force of Shiro’s face pressing into this backside. His legs almost gave out when Shiro pressed his thumb up into the space between Keith’s untouched erection and his tightening scrotum.  _ Goddamn…  _ “Oh fuck, Shiro,” Keith moaned.

 

Shiro pulled away and of course had a snarky remark for Keith: “Still want to go see sand dunes? Want to figure out where we should get lunch while you’re at it?”

 

“Fuck you.” Keith gasped when Shiro’s tongue returned to destroying his insides. “I can’t... talk… words...” Keith answered incoherently. Why did Shiro always want to ask ridiculous questions while Keith fought back premature ejaculation? 

 

Shiro’s laugh rumbled through Keith’s insides. He pulled away again to dig through the duffel at his knees for lube. “You ‘can’t talk words’?” he mocked.

 

“You’re such a smug little… ” Keith stopped speaking and listened to Shiro squeeze lube onto his fingers. Every muscle south of Keith’s hip bones fluttered with anticipation. Shiro turned Keith around to face him. He smiled up at Keith, placed one slow kiss on the crown of Keith’s erection, and then slid one glistening finger inside of him.

 

“Oh, fuck,” Keith groaned, hooking his tied wrists behind Shiro’s head. 

 

Shiro gently moved his finger within Keith, stroking his insides. “You good?” Shiro asked before adding a second finger and licking up the twitching underside of Keith’s arousal.

 

“Mmm hmm,” Keith affirmed as he pried his eyes open and looked down. Shiro looked so gorgeous on his knees with his lips stretched around Keith's cock so he gathered enough brain power to tell him so. “You look good on your knees, Captain.” Keith grinned, eyes half-lidded.

 

Shiro smiled around Keith’s length before pulling away, lips slick with saliva. “Oh, see? You made words.”

 

Keith giggled. “Yeah... words. Now get back to work.”

 

“So bossy! I think you’d look good pressed up against that wall.” Shiro nodded his head at the wood-paneled wall a few feet to Keith’s left.

 

Keith looked over his shoulder to said wall while Shiro surprised Keith by curling his fingers into his prostate and diving back onto his cock. “Oh, fuck!!” Keith shouted, his legs feeling more and more like jelly. “I ah… I can’t stand anymore,” Keith managed to say as he panted.

 

Shiro popped Keith’s erection out of his mouth and pushed Keith against the wall. He stood, lighting fast, and pressed Keith’s entire body into the hard wood paneling, kissing Keith’s collarbone and neck with indescribable intensity. “You ready for me?” Shiro asked, ripping his clothes off.

 

Keith nodded, slack-jawed. He swallowed. “Mmm, fuck yeah.” 

 

Shiro growled approval and quickly tore open a condom wrapper. “You’re gonna feel so good, baby boy. I can’t wait. I love how good you feel,” he rambled, rolling the condom down over his length. “So fucking tight. You’re so fucking good.” He doused himself with lube. Keith felt it drip off of Shiro’s cock, onto his foot and down in between his toes.

 

“You’re making a mess,” Keith teased.

 

“ _ You’re _ going to make a bigger mess,” Shiro promised. He then pressed himself up against Keith again and pulled Keith’s legs up and around his waist. Keith returned his bound hands behind Shiro’s head. Shiro nudged the head of his cock just inside of Keith. “Remember what I taught you.”

 

Keith nodded, “Mmm ‘kay.” Keith concentrated on clenching his anal sphincter and held. Shiro trailed kisses down his neck, waiting…

 

Keith’s sphincter muscle gave out and drew Shiro’s length further inside. They both cried out. Keith threw his head back and hit the wall. “Fuck!” 

 

“You OK?” Shiro checked in.

 

“Yeah,” Keith gasped. “‘m good.” Keith clenched, exhaled, and then released again, taking in more of Shiro’s length.

 

“You feel so fucking amazing,” Shiro praised, kissing Keith’s open mouth. “So, so fucking unreal.”

 

Shiro moved one of his arms from holding Keith up and grasped his cock, thumbing over the smooth notch on the underside of his crown. Keith fully surrendered and Shiro pushed in further. He paused for a moment and then slowly continued until he bottomed out. The intense feeling of fullness overcame Keith. He collapsed into Shiro, letting him fully support his boneless body against the wall. “Ungh, Shiro…” 

 

Shiro began stroking his length as he slowly moved in and out. He kissed Keith’s temple while Keith kept his head buried in the crook of Shiro’s neck. Shiro shifted down slightly and angled his hips underneath Keith. “Is that good?”

 

“Uh…” Keith tried to interpret all of the sensations he was experiencing. “Better. A little more…”

 

“I’m going to need to let go of this then,” Shiro whispered, giving Keith’s cock a playful squeeze before moving his arm to better support Keith and achieve the necessary angle. He scooped his pelvis further under Keith as he drove in again. Keith convulsed as electric stars materialized out of thin air before his eyes.

 

\-----

 

Keith moaned out loud. “Fuck, Shiro.” 

 

He must’ve looked ridiculous, lying in his bed contorted with one knee pulled into his chest, two fingers in his ass, and his other hand pumping his leaking erection. He heard the familiar noises outside in the hallway as the other paladins arose. He picked up the pace. He needed to finish this quickly. At least he wasn’t in the communal showers this time...

 

\-----

 

Shiro grunted louder with each thrust while he sucked a large black-and-blue mark on the fair skin of Keith’s shoulder. Keith mouthed along Shiro’s neck, lapping up tiny beads of salty sweat. With the intense things Shiro was making him feel, this was generally all he was capable of at the moment. Eventually Keith’s cock achingly throbbed in protest at not being touched. “Can I untie my hands?” Keith asked breathlessly.

 

Shiro raised his head to look Keith in the eyes. He smiled mischievously, “I wanted to hook your wrists on that bedpost over there,” he tilted his head to motion towards the bed, “but I got a little sidetracked…” He looked down at Keith’s darkened, dripping arousal and the strands of precum that bridged the short distance between their abdomens. Shiro stilled and Keith knew he was contemplating which was better: taking Keith against the wall or taking Keith on the bed with his arms stretched above him and tied to a bedpost. He looked down between them again before looking back up at Keith with a smirk.

 

“You decided on the bed, didn’t you?” Keith predicted.

 

Shiro nodded as he pulled Keith off the wall and carried him over to the bed. “I really want to lick you clean, which is a little difficult to do while holding you up,” Shiro said. He set Keith down and then pulled his bound wrists up and over the bedpost. He placed a pillow beneath Keith’s hips and then proceeded to lick every last drop of precum off of Keith’s abs, thighs, and erection. Keith’s back shivered and his cock pulsed, wanting more. 

 

\-----

 

“Oh, god,” Keith whispered into the thickening air of his tiny bedroom. Keith curled his two fingers harder. Deeper. A familiar warmth gradually blossomed from his groin, intertwining with his tail bone, spreading to his hamstrings, sending goosebumps across his sensitive skin.

 

\-----

 

Keith tilted his pelvis up from the pillow so that Shiro nailed his prostate as he fucked him. Shiro’s left hand held Keith’s hip with bruising strength as his right hand pumped Keith’s cock. “I’m gonna come, Shiro…” Keith sobbed.

 

\-----

 

Keith forgot about being quiet and shouted when he came into his hand, white ribbons of semen running between his slender fingers.

 

“Dude!! Are you OK?!” Lance shouted from the other side of the door. 

 

Keith groaned, sitting up. “Fine! I’m fine!” he said, trying to recover. “Just-”

 

“Were you- Oh, shit... Seriously?!” Lance squawked in the hallway. “Oh my god! OH MY GOD!! Ugh!”

 

Keith would have facepalmed had it not been for the bodily fluids covering his hands. “Go. Away. Lance!” he barked. Apparently no place in the castle was safe. 

 

_ Fuck my life. _

 

\-----

 

Keith and Lance spent most of the day avoiding each other, which was fine by Keith. Neither of them would be repeating their Altean pool adventures because  _ fuck _ Lance. And  _ fuck _ that pointless pool, too. 

 

With his head temporarily cleared from his raging hormones, Keith was able to refocus on the issue at hand and was pretty sure what he needed to do. He had to know if it was him; he had to know if Zarkon was tracking him. Because of the blade. Possibly because of the blood in his veins... 

 

Keith watched Shiro, Coran, and Allura plotting points on a large illuminated map of the places where Zarkon had tracked them. Shiro’s brow was knit in concentration. He glanced around the ship’s cavernous bridge from the command post and made eye contact with Keith. His face immediately softened as he smiled.

 

Keith’s heart warmed. And then he made up his mind, casting his remaining doubts aside. He had to protect Shiro. From Zarkon. And possibly from himself, no matter how much leaving would hurt.

 

Shiro’s attention returned to the map and he dipped his head down to listen intently to Allura. She touched Shiro’s arm as she whispered. Shiro tenderly smoothed his hand over her shoulder, reassuring her that Zarkon was not tracking them because of her.

 

Keith felt a twinge of jealousy. They’d be fine without him.

 

\-----

 

“Hey,” Shiro greeted that night, half undressed, as Keith walked into his bedroom per their usual routine. 

 

“Hey…” Keith said, trying to act as if everything was relatively normal. He wanted to avoid another one-sided ‘Is everything OK?’ conversation.

 

Shiro pulled on the black tank he usually slept in and scrubbed his human hand through the undercut of his hair. “What was all that commotion this morning?” Shiro inquired cluelessly.

 

“Huh? Oh... Um, I think Lance… um, stepped on space mouse poop or something. Clearly, uh,  overreacted,” Keith stuttered.

 

“Huh… I don’t think I’ve ever noticed mouse poop around the ship…” Shiro mused, scratching his head.

 

“Um, I see it occasionally. I think Coran picks it up? I don’t really know.”  _ What the fuck? Why are we discussing mouse poop? _

 

“Oh… I wonder if you can train mice to use a litter box like a cat.” Shiro continued to contemplate the notion of animal poop in outer space. “Don’t they sleep with Allura?”

 

“Yeah. Kinda gross. I wonder if they poop mostly in Allura’s room.” Keith had to go there to quash the jealousy he’d felt earlier. He held in a snicker at the thought of the princess's royal room filled to the brim with mouse droppings.

 

Shiro wrinkled his nose as he thought about it some more. “Do you think the mice-”

 

“Can we  _ not  _ talk about alien rodent poop?” Keith interrupted.

 

Shiro laughed out loud in response. “You brought it up…”

 

“No... Lance… Whatever. Anyway. So, did you guys detect any sort of pattern on how or where Zarkon keeps finding us?” Keith asked, changing the subject.

 

“No, we can't figure it out. Hopefully Pidge’s ‘Galra finder’ will help and we’ll get some answers tomorrow when we arrive at Taujeer.” 

 

“But it’s… not Allura?”

 

“I highly doubt it. And if it  _ is _ her, she can’t just… leave. The team needs her,” Shiro said.

 

Keith rolled his eyes and nodded with exhaustion. “This is nuts. If the castle isn’t going crazy on us, then Zarkon or one of his robeasts are attacking us. I wish we could catch a break. I wish I could just hole up in my room and zone out while I binge on TV for an entire day. Or a quintant… Whatever.”

 

“I'm sure Coran could dig up some sort of ridiculous Altean soap opera for you,” Shiro teased.

 

“Ew. No thanks. I would love to just sit and watch all 600-plus episodes of “Naruto.” That was my shit when I was a kid.”

 

Shiro chuckled, “You're so Sasuke.”

 

“Why? ‘Cause he's evil?” Keith cringed and wished he hadn't blurted that out. This fucking Galra shit was messing with him.

 

“No. Because he's a cranky badass,” Shiro said with a smile, flopping on his bed.

 

“I'm not cranky,” Keith defended himself, lying down next to Shiro.

 

“Kind of,” Shiro said, looking over at Keith. “Although if you’re Sasuke, does that make me Sakura?”

 

Keith barked a laugh. “You’re hardly a bratty, teenaged girl with pink hair. Actually, you’re more like Kakashi Sensei.”

 

“Because I have  _ white _ hair?!” Shiro propped himself up on an elbow. “Answer carefully,” Shiro warned, playfully narrowing his eyes.

 

“Or what?” Keith challenged with a smirk.

 

“I’ll hold you upside down and find some mouse poop to dip your hair in. Or I’ll make you hug Lance. Or I’ll just hold you down and tickle you.” He reached for Keith’s arm while Keith giggled and batted his hand away.

 

“I said no more talking about mouse poop!” Keith laughed while Shiro reached out again, threatening to tickle him.  “Kakashi’s all wise and shit and he teaches Sasuke all the badass stuff he knows. That’s why.” 

 

“OK, I’ll accept that answer.” Shiro backed down.

 

“Actually,” Keith hesitated and then reached up to touch the scar across Shiro’s face. “Your scar reminds me of Iruka Sensei.” Shiro just smiled in response. “Sorry... I don’t know if that brings up any bad memories,” Keith added quietly.

 

“No… It’s OK.” Shiro scooted closer to Keith and wrapped his human arm around his waist.

 

Keith felt a little guilty. “How… how are you so good-natured after everything that’s happened to you?”

 

Shiro shrugged. “I’m just… grateful to be free. And alive.”

 

“You’re never angry!? I mean, I know Ulaz helped you but... I’d be furious! I’d want revenge.” Ulaz had proved that not all Galra were bad but would Shiro hate Keith if he turned out to be Galra? Keith’s stomach soured, unsure of how this would all play out.

 

“I mean, yes, I’m a little angry. But I’m more driven to prevent this from happening to others. It’s not revenge. It’s justice. For everyone.”

 

Keith just took it in. It was clear that not all Galra were the same. But Zarkon and his followers had to pay for what they did to Shiro. They were the ones who took Shiro away from him. And they could take Voltron away if Keith was the reason they were able to locate the Castle of Lions time after time. Keith stared at Shiro’s face, trying to memorize it just in case he was unable to return after tonight…  _ Is this how it ends? _

 

Shiro pulled Keith closer, eyes closed, forehead pressed into Keith’s. Out of nowhere, he whispered, “Thank you.”

 

Keith blinked. “For what?” he questioned.

 

“For being here,” Shiro answered.

 

“I want to be here. You don’t have to thank me,” Keith answered flatly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. 

 

Shiro’s head shifted ever so slightly as he placed a small kiss on Keith’s jaw just under his earlobe. Keith stilled and his heart fluttered. Shiro hadn’t kissed him since the night Keith had put all of his cards on the table and told Shiro about their prior relationship at the Garrison.  _ Did that just happen? Did Shiro just kiss me?!  _ The moment passed just as quickly as it had happened and Shiro was peacefully asleep not long after.

 

Keith waited another hour in Shiro’s bed before sneaking out much earlier than he normally did. But, as usual, Keith kissed Shiro’s forehead before closing the door and proceeding to his own room. 

 

Exhausted, he rested his head on his pillow, reeling from the innocent kiss, wrestling with leaving or staying. It was just a test. Just isolate the variable. Then he’d know. The kiss didn’t change anything.  _ I still have to protect Voltron. And Shiro. _ He briefly drifted into a restless sleep where he was terrorized by nightmares of Zarkon’s eyes boring into him, reflecting on his blade. “I can find you anywhere...”

 

Keith woke up with Zarkon’s voice still echoing in his head. He stealthily gathered his things, put on his armor and stole into the quiet of the sleeping castle, towards the pods.

 

\-----

 

Shiro looked behind him. According to the sentries’ patrolling schedule he had memorized, he should have roughly twenty-five minutes before they’d come around again. He reached under the pillow of his bed and pulled out a knife he’d managed to confiscate during one of the off times they allowed prisoners to eat together in a mess hall. Each day, little by little, he sharpened the dull blade.

 

He looked down at his new right hand: a steel metal base with three claw-like fingers. It was strong and steady. It gripped weapons well. It strangled opponents with ease. But his human forearm continued to blacken and ache. Something was still wrong.

 

He clenched the knife between two of the metal fingers and passed the blade through to hone it, counting each pass. When he reached twenty, he inspected the blade and then tested it on the mattress. It easily punctured the bedding and didn’t leave ragged edges behind this time.

 

Shiro walked over to the basin in the corner of his cell and repositioned the mottled steel plate that was meant to function as a mirror. He quickly felt for the three subcutaneous tracking chips: one centered at the bridge of his nose, and one on either side of his nose below his eyes. The ones below his eyes were less prominent and floated away under his touch. In the interest of saving time, he’d have to make a bigger incision than originally planned. He took a deep breath. He could do this. Make the cut, dispose of the chips, and then escape in one of the pods in the closest docking bay. 

 

Shiro readied the knife and held it up under his eye. He raised his left hand to hold the skin taut. He faltered as his eyes lowered to his left wrist.  He paused to hold out his arm, examining the blood vessels just beneath his sallow skin. He hadn’t considered  _ this _ option…

 

He could end it here. Now. No more pain. No more fighting. No more suffering. He lowered the blade to his wrist and looked up at his mildly distorted reflection in the mirror.

 

_ Is this how it ends? _

 

The promise of eternal peace gave way as he recalled another promise. He’d promised his mother. He’d promised his family. He’d promised his friends. He’d promised Colleen Holt. He’d promised Keith. Keith… Tears streamed down Shiro’s face.

 

_ No. This? Whatever this is… This is temporary. Pain is temporary. Everything is temporary. _

 

He’d made it this far. He had to find a way out. He had to survive. He had to warn other civilizations. He had to protect Earth. He had to protect everyone he loved. He held the blade back up to his face with a new determination. Without hesitating, he made the cut.

 

The blood came faster than Shiro anticipated and instantly made him nauseous and weak. He located the chip on bridge of his nose and shuddered as he dug under the skin for the other two, human hand slippery with blood. He started feeling weaker. And then he heard alarm bells and sentries running down the halls and into his cell. 

 

_ No.  _ His plan needed to work. He collapsed to the floor. He willed his arm to stab at the closest guard but it just fell limply as more blood pooled beneath him. He felt the guards lift him off the floor and vaguely heard the witch’s voice: “Stitch him up and throw him in isolation for fifteen quintants. You will be punished  _ severely _ for your insolence!!”

 

Shiro managed a whisper, “What’s a quintant?”

 

The guards ignored him and dragged him out of his cell.

 

“No. No. How long’s a quintant?” Fear supplied him with a brief rush of adrenaline. He raised his voice and struggled in the sentries’ arms to no avail. “No!! How long is a quintant?!”  _ I have to get back. I have to get back to Keith. _

 

“Silence!” the guard commanded.

 

“Keith…” Shiro’s burst of energy fizzled out.

 

\-----

 

“Keith!” Shiro bolted upright from his bed on the Castle of Lions.

 

But Keith wasn’t there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don’t really ship Klance but I enjoy the idea that Lance is the one that keeps walking in on poor Keith. I can’t explain myself. I’ll stop after this. I promise.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Thanks to avidbeader for beta reading.
> 
> Funny side note, while using an online thesaurus for this chapter, I just noticed there’s this link on the webpage that asks what made you look up the word (mind you my search words are throbbing, dripping, etc,)… I laughed and thought, umm… writing inappropriate things about cartoon characters… duh.


	3. We are stronger together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… sorry if this is melodramatic but these boys need to talk about their feelings. Prepare yourselves for numerous exclamation points and ellipses. (Like you're surprised.)
> 
> Also, any verbatim quotes from the show are obviously not mine.

“Clearly you were correct, Shiro. We are always stronger together,” Allura stated back on the castle with the group reunited.

 

Keith felt relieved and defeated at the same time. Zarkon wasn’t tracking him, it wasn’t his fault. But he’d betrayed the team anyway. He avoided Shiro’s intense gaze. Shiro had sounded happy and relieved over the comm when Keith arrived on Taujeer with the Red Lion. But now… he was obviously furious but trying not to let it show for the sake of the team. 

 

Luckily, Coran was pulling Keith away with the others to a “swap moon”.  _ Whatever the hell that is.  _ Maybe Keith could think of what he’d say to Shiro while he was away. And maybe that would give Shiro time to cool off. 

 

They’d deal with their issues later tonight.

 

\-----

 

Keith took a deep breath before entering Shiro’s room. The door disengaged under his touch. He was welcomed by Shiro standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, jaw clenched. He’d seen Shiro pissed off back at the Garrison on a few occasions, but the hardness of his stare made Keith stop in his tracks, unsure if he was even welcome in his room.

 

“Um… hey,” Keith greeted hesitantly.

 

“I can’t believe you,” Shiro returned, trying to keep his voice steady and at a normal speaking volume.

 

“Shiro… I can’t explain it but I really thought it was me and I had to know,” Keith attempted to reason. How could he make Shiro understand without going into specifics? He still had the blade... and his doubts.

 

“I  _ told _ you. The team is stronger  _ together! _ ”

 

“I know, but I thought I might be putting the team in danger!” Keith argued. “I thought I might be putting  _ you _ in danger.”

 

“You put us  _ all _ in danger, Keith! We can’t form  _ Voltron _ without you! There are  _ FIVE _ paladins! There are  _ FIVE _ lions!” Shiro's voice kept getting louder.

 

“I don’t know how to say this any other way, Shiro! I thought I was helping!” Keith dug his heels in but knew his reason was unraveling. He had been so preoccupied with fear that Zarkon was tracking him that he hadn’t thought about how his departure would affect the team. Even when he was with Allura in the pod, he only thought about how her absence would affect the castle’s navigation and wormholing capabilities; it was Allura who pointed out that they couldn’t form Voltron without the Red Paladin.

 

“Keith.” Shiro let out a deep exhale. “I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone. And I didn’t know if something happened to you and if you were gone for good... You  _ said _ nothing. You  _ left _ nothing. I was worried  _ sick _ !!”

 

Keith’s chin quivered. “I told you…” his voice wavered. “I thought I was doing the best thing for the team.  _ And _ for you.” Keith turned his gaze downward because he couldn’t bear the anger and betrayal in Shiro’s eyes. “I thought I was protecting you…”

 

“We have  _ zero _ protection if we don’t have Voltron. You know that, Keith.” The fight in Shiro’s voice was giving way to exhaustion. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

“I don’t know… I guess I knew you’d try to talk me out of it. I was going to come back, I just had to find out for myself,” Keith lied. “Allura left, too. I didn’t hear you lecturing her.”

 

Shiro just shook his head and looked past Keith with heavy eyes. He then snorted. “Did you two at least bond?”

 

_ What kind of a stupid question is that?  _ Keith’s annoyance brought his defenses back up. “I don’t need to  _ bond _ with Allura. We get along fine. Did  _ you _ two bond while we were gone at that stupid mall?! You had the whole castle to yourselves,” Keith spat. 

 

“Jesus. This again? Why do you always bring things back to some issue with Allura?”

 

“I don’t- I don’t know. You guys seem awfully close sometimes…”

 

“Keith, we’re leading a team together. I don’t know why you insist on having this…  _ thing _ ... against her.”

 

“I’m not against her. I just… get the feeling that… you guys could be happy together,” Keith admitted quietly. “Sometimes it seems like there’s more than a friendship-teammate kind of bond. I’m sorry, I just- you haven’t wanted to do anything with me and maybe you’re realizing that you’re more attracted to her or something…”

 

“Keith.” Shiro took a step closer. “You know that’s not the case whatsoever. Right?”

 

Keith just shrugged and looked back down at the floor.

 

“Do you know what I dreamt about last night?”

 

_ No, I wasn’t there… _ “I don’t know. What?” Keith rasped.

 

“I dreamt about the time I removed the tracking chips from my face,” Shiro said, pointing to his most noticeable scar. 

 

Keith threw his hands up in exasperation. “Ugh, I’m sorry I brought up your scar last night! OK? I misspoke. You said it didn’t bother you!”

 

Shiro continued calmly, “Keith, it’s not about that, just listen. I remember holding the knife, ready to cut out my tracking chips. But before I did, I legitimately thought about taking my life instead.”

 

_ Fuck… Now I feel even more like shit. _ “I’m… I’m sorry that happened to you, Shiro. I really am but… why are you telling me this now?” Keith said, eyes welling up.

 

“It was relatively early in my imprisonment and my memories were still intact at that point. I thought about my family and friends. And you. And how much I needed to get back to you. Thinking about you motivated me to stay alive. You got me through. I fought for you...”

 

Keith didn’t know how to react. He was floored. And an emotional wreck.

 

“My memories of you saved me. And then I panicked when you weren’t there last night. Keith, I hope you don’t feel like I’m taking you for granted. I need you. I really… I love you,” Shiro’s voice dropped to a whisper.

 

Keith stopped breathing.  _ Did he just say what I thought he said? _ Keith willed his heart to stop beating, blood to stop flowing, just so that he might hear better. “What- what did you just say?”

 

Shiro stepped even closer to cradle Keith’s head with both hands. “I love you,” Shiro repeated. “And I didn’t know what to do because I thought you were gone. And I thought that I might never get to tell you.”

 

Keith’s voice broke. “I’m sorry, Shiro. I love you, too.” He let Shiro pull him into a hug and buried his face in Shiro’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Shiro held Keith for a while before pulling him away, holding both of his shoulders to look him square in the eye. “Keith, you know you can talk to me, right? If you were that worried about Zarkon tracking us through you, you could’ve talked to me about it. The night you told me about everything from the Garrison… about us… You said that we’re in this together.”

 

Keith blinked tears out of his eyes and nodded. He remembered that exact moment.

 

“I love you. And we’re in this together,” Shiro repeated. “We are stronger together.”

 

“OK,” Keith whispered.

 

Shiro took one step closer, dipped his head down, and took Keith’s breath away with a kiss. Keith’s lips immediately melted under Shiro’s. Upon walking into Shiro’s room earlier this evening, Shiro professing love and kissing him ranked (almost) last on his “things likely to happen tonight” list. Keith deeply inhaled Shiro’s smell between the push and pull of their lips. He wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck, wanting to pull him impossibly closer, make their kiss impossibly deeper, afraid if he didn’t hold him tightly that this wouldn’t be real at all.

 

Eventually Shiro slowed their dream-like flow to speak. “We have a lot to do tomorrow. I’m drained and we need to rest before we arrive at the Blade of Marmora’s headquarters.”

 

Keith nodded acknowledgement and brushed his disappointment aside. He reminded himself that this was a major leap forward for Shiro and, in fact, tomorrow was critical in forming an alliance against Zarkon. Keith thought about the purple emblem from his knife that matched Ulaz’s ceremonial blade.  _ Maybe they’ll have answers...  _

 

Shiro was asleep the second his head hit his pillow. Keith smiled as he watched Shiro’s chest rise and fall with steady breaths. He permitted his heavy eyelids to close as well, enveloped in Shiro’s arms and warmth. And love.

 

\----

 

The chanting crowd brought Shiro back to his body. “Champion! Champion! Champion!”

 

His third and latest cybernetic prosthesis was faster and stronger than humanly conceivable. Its movements were precise, fluid, and deadly. As Shiro’s brain came back to his body’s senses, he began to take survey of his surroundings. He was crouched over a lifeless, low-ranking Galra officer, a large and fatal laceration across its throat, purple-tinged blood splattered all over. Shiro felt it running down his forehead, dripping off of his chin, and seeping into his ragged clothing.  _ I did this _ ...

 

He ignored his disgust and stood away from the corpse. Even in his detached state, he remembered to give the crowd a show. That’s all this was anyway, right? A show. A distraction. As he walked towards the arena exit, he held up his robotic arm in a fist and engaged it so that it glowed magenta, eliciting more cheers.

 

He always remained in this meditative state until he broke down back in his cell, alone with his fleeting memories of home. He told himself that killing was a means to a greater cause; psychologically detaching himself kept him from questioning his actions. He would be the one to escape to warn others when the time was right.  _ This is temporary. Patience yields focus. _

 

Once back in the holding room behind the arena, a Galra arena assistant scrambled toward him and handed him an inadequately-sized towel. Shiro distractedly wiped some of the blood away and threw the towel down, just wanting to wash himself of the fight back in his cell. Various alien prisoners stood huddled into one corner and trembled with fear while they waited to find out who would be selected for the next fight. As he passed through, Shiro avoided his reflection in the polished metal that accented the sparse room. A guard came over and searched him to make sure he hadn’t confiscated any weapons before bringing him back to his cell. The witch waited by the exit.

 

Another Galra officer, likely a medic, scanned Shiro’s hand and tracking chips. “Prisoner 117-9875,” he read aloud as his record appeared on a screen from the officer's gauntlet. He shone a light into Shiro’s eyes and performed a series of simple eye-tracking tests. “Dizzy? Disoriented? Headache?” he asked. Shiro simply denied by shaking his head; he was perpetually disoriented, today wasn't any different. The officer held up another tool to scan Shiro’s head. He quickly evaluated the image it displayed and then turned to Haggar. “No significant head trauma this time,” he announced. “Although…” he added after reviewing Shiro’s records, “two concussions since he was captured is not ideal. I suggest some rest if you wish him to continue to… perform.”

 

“I will keep that in mind, Ulaz,” Haggar replied with disinterest. “Dismissed.” The officer exited the room. “Riveting fight, Champion,” she complimented in her echoing but monotone voice.

 

“Thank you,” he replied. Calm. Unfeeling. Submissive.

 

“Clean clothing and a meal are being delivered to your cell. It seems absurd that your species is so sensitive to temperature but I’ve instructed the guards to ensure that you have hot water to clean yourself with this time.”

 

“Thank you,” he replied again, maintaining a flat affect.

 

She reached a hand toward his face. He tried not to flinch. She usually gripped his head by the fringe of his hair and jolted him with an electric current whenever she was unhappy with him. But he’d done everything she’d asked of him today. His heart pounded and eyes widened with shock as she unexpectedly caressed the side of his face and brushed her thumb across his bottom lip, wiping away some of the foreign blood he had missed. “See how well things go when you behave yourself?” For emphasis, she traced a sharp nail along the scar on his face.

 

“Yes, Haggar,” Shiro whispered. He had to remain on the witch’s good side if he was to ever make it out alive. But it was getting harder and harder to keep fear and adrenaline from taking over.  _ This is temporary. Patience yields focus. _

 

Once back in his cell, he vomited in the basin. He then sat on the floor and blankly looked at the foreign food for which he had no appetite. 

 

Sometimes he felt that he could handle the fighting and the torture. It was worse just being alone almost every single day. If he were even allowed to come into contact with the rest of the prisoners other than the ones he had to fight… Maybe that would help. Maybe he could organize a rebellion. Plan an uprising. Overtake the ship. The prisoners were kept weakened, overworked, and underfed for a reason, but there was strength in numbers. They would be stronger together. Shiro made note of this idea for later. He should find more reasons for the guards to let him out of his cell. He could even ask for cleaning or maintenance duties on the command deck to learn how the ship operated...

For now, all he had were the memories of people he used to know to keep him company. After each fight, in order to avoid reliving the repulsive event and his likely abhorrent actions, he began running through the faces and names of people back on Earth that he wanted to remember. Mom. Dad. Grandmother. Aunt Miyako. Cousin Anna and her husband, Brandon. Their five children: Lina, Ellie, Jacob, Jenna, and Lara. After going through some of the distant relatives, it became more challenging. He remembered a handful of his childhood friends in Japan; his first girlfriend and some of his middle school friends in the U.S. It bothered him that he couldn’t remember many people from the Galaxy Garrison. He remembered having a group of close friends there, but lately he could only recall two of their names and none of their faces. Moore… Shiro clenched his eyes shut.  _ Think. _ He was mixed-race, hazel eyes, shorter stature, glasses… But that was all his memory could supply him with, so Shiro gave up. The name Erikson was also familiar but he couldn’t conjure anything behind the meaningless word. 

 

There was someone else he cared about. A boy. Someone he loved. He dug into the depths of his memories but it felt as if this person was slipping through his fingers. Like sand. His gut nagged, his heart pleaded, but his brain wouldn’t cooperate. He panicked. There was someone he was fighting to get back to. He tried to still his panicking mind.  _ Patience yields focus. Think harder. It’s there…  _ Fair skin, dark hair… His mind fought him each and every moment while he grasped at straws.  _ Don’t let him slip away... _

 

\-----

 

Shiro didn’t wake up abruptly as he usually did from a violent dream. The dampness of his pillow was what caused him to stir; he was crying in his sleep. 

 

The boy from his memories, the boy of his dreams lay next to him. The boy shifted closer and whispered, “You OK?”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro whispered back. He looked at Keith’s delicate features in the dim light and smiled. He reached for Keith’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “I’m OK.”

 

\-----

 

It was difficult to leave Shiro in the morning, but Keith stood up from the bed to return to his room. He kissed Shiro’s forehead before closing the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, feelings dealt with but now we’ve got Blade of Marmora coming up…  
> Thank you all as always for reading, commenting, kudos’ing, sending me happy thoughts. Or angsty thoughts (I probably deserve it).


	4. You look so beautiful like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew… here it is. First off, I have not read any other takes on BoM so I don’t know if this is redundantly “been there, read that.” But I hope it isn’t. Enjoy…
> 
> If the spacing in this chapter is a little funky it's because it was written on multiple programs, phones, computers, etc. I tried fixing the code in archive but if I missed something, my apologies.

Keith held Red’s control sticks in a deathgrip. His heartrate hadn’t slowed down. The stabbing pain in his right shoulder was getting worse. And he felt more and more nauseous as they neared the castle.

 

_ What percentage of Galra can I possibly be if I look so human? Was Mom Galra? How many other Galra are on Earth and how long have they been there? _ Keith’s mind reeled while he strained to listen in on Shiro’s conversation with Kolivan and Antok as they strategized. Shiro was presenting the various capabilities of the Altean castle-ship that could be used in their fight against Zarkon. Their discussion abruptly quieted when Shiro excused himself. Keith then heard footsteps approach the lion’s cockpit and felt a familiar hand gingerly touch his back. “Hey…”

 

Keith’s heart slammed into his chest. “Um, hey,” he replied hesitantly.

 

“How are you feeling?” Shiro’s voice sounded concerned.

 

“I’m fine,” Keith answered tensely. With that, his wound spasmed with pain, just in case he’d forgotten the enormous gash on his shoulder.

 

“I wish Red would let me take over so you could rest,” Shiro said.  Red growled protectively at the suggestion. Keith smirked when he heard Antok startle and drop his blade as the snarl resounded within the lion. “Take it easy, Red, just trying to help,” Shiro said under his breath to the lion before speaking to Keith again. “I hope those bandages hold up for now. We’re going to need to take a better look at your shoulder when we arrive back at the castle. We might need to get you into a healing pod.”

 

Keith’s nausea intensified at the thought of being shut inside one of those tiny pods; vulnerable and defenseless, completely exposed and behind glass for all to scrutinize.  _ No fucking way.  _ “No. No pod.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Keith winced and gritted his teeth. “I’m sure. The cut isn’t that deep… I think my injuries are the least of my worries. Allura needs to let me back onboard the ship first before we can even talk about any sort of medical treatment.” 

 

“Well... We’ll talk later but... Everything will be OK. The team knows that some… Galra are good. They’ll understand.” 

 

Keith noted how Shiro had hesitated when he said “Galra” and stole a quick glance up at him. “I don’t know if  _ I _ understand yet. I… I don’t know what I think.”

 

Shiro nodded. “I’m sure this experience was… shocking…”

 

Keith snorted and returned his gaze forward to navigate Red. “That’s an understatement.”

 

“Look, I’m… obviously surprised as well. But…” Shiro then kneeled so that he was at eye-level with Keith; Keith pretended not to notice and stared straight ahead. Shiro continued, “I  _ know _ you. And you’re the same person. It doesn’t matter what amount of alien blood is in your veins. Your heart’s always been in the right place. That’s what matters. You’re  _ still _ Keith Kogane. You’re  _ still _ the Red Paladin of Voltron.”

 

Keith glanced away from the lion’s control column to look at Shiro again. His steel-gray eyes were genuine; Shiro would not lie about something like this. “Thank you, Shiro.” A small amount of relief slowed Keith’s hammering heart.  _ We’ll see what the others think… _

 

\-----

 

Obviously they were shocked. But they’d learned from their experience with Ulaz and listened as Shiro described the Trials of Marmora and advocated for Keith. Insisting that Keith required immediate bed rest and medical attention, Shiro helped Keith hobble from the command bridge to his room. Out of the corner of his eye, Keith watched as the others looked on with concern while Allura stormed off.

 

They slowly made their way down the hallway as exhaustion settled into Keith’s body. He piped up as they passed his room and walked towards Shiro’s instead. “Uh… Shiro?”

 

Shiro didn’t answer until he’d carefully helped Keith into his room and down onto the bed. “I figured the bigger bed would be more comfortable and I’d like to keep an eye on you overnight.”

 

Shiro was being very understanding for just finding out that his boyfriend was of an alien race; the very same alien race he’d sworn to fight against. “Um…” Keith’s lips hesitantly quirked into a slight smile. “OK… If you insist.” 

 

“I insist,” Shiro said, quickly stripping off his own spacesuit, leaving his black base layers on. “Do you think you’ll be able to get your suit off so I can take a look at your shoulder and make sure none of your ribs are cracked?”

 

“Uh… I think I can get this off with some help,” Keith answered. Shiro helped Keith to unzip his spacesuit and slowly pull his arms out of the sleeves. The spacesuit lay bunched around Keith’s hips as Shiro pulled off Keith’s tee to assess the damage.  

 

“I hope this doesn’t need stitches,” Shiro said, mostly to himself as he unwrapped the blood-soaked strips of fabric from Keith’s shoulder.

 

There was a knock at the door and Pidge walked into the room, bearing a bin of supplies. “Coran gave me the medical kit you requested, Shiro.”

 

“Thanks, Pidge.”

 

Pidge looked at Keith’s bruised torso with concern as she set the bin down at Shiro’s feet. “You… you OK, Keith?”

 

“I’ve been better, but… I’ll be fine. Could be worse…”

 

“OK. That’s… good, I guess. Um, Coran said that there’re some sublingual pain meds in there. It’s called soraxaine. He said it’s better than Nunvill… Just so you know,” she said with a mischievous wink.

 

Keith managed a grin. “Fuck yeah.”

 

Shiro smiled and shook his head. “We’ll start with a half-dose.”

 

Keith booed Shiro.

 

Pidge giggled. “Shiro, you’re no fun,” she said, not meaning one word. “Well, let us know if you guys need anything else. Hope you feel better, Keith.” She closed the door behind her.

 

“Seriously, where’s that soraxaine?” Keith inquired.

 

Shiro dug through the bin of supplies and located the square tablets of medication. “Uh, you’re starting with a half-dose. I don’t need you all loopy while I’m changing your bandages. You need to be able to tell me where you still have pain. And we don’t know how this stuff will work on a human anyway.”

 

“Half-human,” Keith retorted.

 

Shiro smiled and shook his head again while he tore open a soraxaine pack and broke a tablet in half. “Open up…” Keith opened his mouth and curled his tongue backwards for Shiro to administer the medication. After only a few doboshes, Keith felt the medication’s warmth loosen his body like alcohol.

 

From the medical kit, Shiro dug out a pot of a clay-like substance and a roll of translucent film to dress Keith’s wound. “Coran told me this stuff can be used to bind deep cuts, so we’ll try this first and hope you don’t need stitches.”

 

“‘Kay…” Keith felt his eyelids getting a little heavy as the tension eased from his muscles.

 

“Oh, god. Are you already delirious on sorox- whatever the hell this stuff is called?”

 

“No…” Keith grinned.

 

Lance and Hunk knocked on the door next. “Hey, thought you might need this,” Lance said, holding up a cube-shaped bucket of water. “Coran said there should be a spongy, foam-type thing in the medical kit for um…” Lance’s train of thought sputtered at the sight of Keith half-undressed and on top of Shiro’s bed. “...like cleaning dirt and like, blood and… stuff. Like for a sponge bath. No… well, not that but... I- I don’t know-”

 

“Excellent, we definitely need this. Thank you,” Shiro interrupted Lance to put an end to his awkward rambling. Keith watched as Lance suspiciously eyed the dried blood on his arm. The blood was red, not purple. And underneath was his normal, fair skin tone, also not purple. 

 

“You holding up, Keith?” Hunk asked. 

 

“Yeah. Better now, though. Pidge brought drugs.” Keith smirked.

 

“Niiiiice! Altean meds… gotta be better than stuff on Earth, right?” Hunk said.

 

“I’ll let you know,” Keith replied, even though he was already feeling nice and warm.

 

Lance was still preoccupied with Keith being partially undressed in Shiro’s room. “Um… Shiro, there’s that one medical room near the hangars… So you don’t have to use your um, bed.”

 

Shiro located the thin sponge and took it out of the sterile packaging. He dipped it in the water and attentively dabbed at Keith’s face. “I don’t mind. My bed’s more comfortable than the gurney in that room, anyway.”

 

“Yeah... true…” Lance answered. He watched Shiro gently wipe more blood away from Keith’s chin. Keith thought he might have seen a faint look of jealousy quickly cross over Lance’s face. 

 

“Oh! You guys want any food? I can whip up anything you want,” Hunk offered. “Well, you know… within reason.”

 

“You hungry, Keith?” Shiro asked softly.

 

“Nah, I’m all right for now. Thanks, Hunk,” Keith answered.

 

“OK. Rest up,” Hunk said as he pried Lance away from the door. “Dude, come on…”

 

Keith felt relieved. Allura was obviously not happy but the rest of the team had been accepting. She’d eventually get over it, right?

 

“All right, hold this out,” Shiro instructed as he extended Keith’s right arm. “Let’s fix you up, baby boy.”

 

“Oh, my pet name is back?” Keith beamed. Shiro grinned goofily but didn’t verbally acknowledge.

 

Shiro gently cleaned the laceration and snorted as he thought to himself. “I think Lance was trying to make sure the color of your blood looked the same as his.” Keith just rolled his eyes. “So…” Shiro transitioned now that he’d brought it up, “You’ve... seriously had that knife your whole life? I don’t recall seeing it at the Garrison.”

 

“How often were you in my dorm?”

 

“True…”

 

“It’s the one thing I’ve always had, I just always took it whenever I moved. I kept it wrapped up and in a box in my room. I don’t know where- or who- it came from,” Keith replied. “Do you think there are more Galra on Earth?”

 

Shiro exhaled a deep breath. “I… I don’t know. It’s obviously a possibility. The question is, if there are Galra on Earth, are they ‘Blade of Marmora’ Galra or ‘Zarkon’ Galra?”

 

“Yeah… I’ve been thinking the same thing. I guess if they were supporters of Zarkon, Earth would have been wiped out a long time ago.”

 

Shiro nodded. “It would seem so. You doing OK?” he asked as he readied the clay substance with an applicator.

 

“Yeah,” Keith replied.

 

“All right, I hope this stuff doesn’t sting. Let me know if you need more pain medication.” The clay-like consistency was cooling. Keith felt his skin tighten as it quickly dried and partially dissolved, pulling the wound closed.

 

Shiro examined the jar. “I guess we leave this on for about one varga and then check it. If it can’t hold the wound closed for that long then we need to consider sutures. Let's hope this does the job because I hate needles...” Shiro shivered at the thought before he attended to the rest of the small cuts and scrapes on Keith’s torso. 

 

_ Since when does Shiro hate needles? _ Keith felt a bit confused as he tried to remember if Shiro had ever mentioned anything of that nature before. His mind skidded to a halt as he realized it probably pertained to his imprisonment. Keith hesitated but knew they needed to finish their Galra conversation. And Keith needed one more answer. “Are you… are you sure you’re OK? Like, with me? I mean, the Galra imprisoned you, and tortured you...” Keith tried to prevent his eyes from welling up with tears. “I’m them… I’m the enemy…”

 

Shiro looked Keith straight in the eyes. “You’re  _ not _ the enemy.” Keith looked away because he still felt guilty somehow. Shiro then placed his human hand over Keith’s heart and spoke softly. “You’re still the same. In here. Look at me, Keith.” Keith looked up as Shiro reached toward him and held his head on either side with both hands. “I trust you. I told you on the way back from the Blade of Marmora’s base; you’re the same person. You’re still Keith. I don’t care about anything else.”

 

Keith nodded his head. “Do you still… you know…”

 

“I still love you,” Shiro replied. “And…” Shiro held up his robotic arm. “I guess we’re both a little Galra…”

 

Keith snorted, “Your Galra is way cooler than my Galra.”

 

Shiro laughed and then pulled Keith’s head to his lips, tenderly kissing his forehead. “How do your ribs feel? Anything else hurt?” he asked, feeling up and down Keith’s sides. “I don’t feel any obvious breaks.”

 

“I get a… shooting pain up my left side every so often.” Keith winced as Shiro applied pressure to a sensitive spot.

 

Shiro’s fingers traced the indentations between his ribs. “Well, we can’t do much if you have cracked ribs but try to take it easy.”

 

“Aren’t we taking out Zarkon in like, five days? Quintants? Fucking- whatever.”

 

“Yeah, so no challenging him one-on-one this time, OK? And for the record, you’re the one who refused the healing pod,” Shiro retorted.

 

“I don’t need it.” Keith then met Shiro’s gaze. “I have you,” he said with a smile.

 

“You just don’t want to be seen in that super-flattering white bodysuit,” Shiro teased.

 

“I don’t know… You looked pretty damn good in it.” Keith managed to give Shiro a sleazy wink before groaning in pain again.

 

Shiro rolled his eyes and blushed while he dug around the supply bin some more. He located a topical numbing ointment and held it up. “Wanna try this? It should dull the pain for a little while so you can sleep.”

 

Keith slowly lay down on the bed, relying on his left arm. “Yeah, just…” Keith waved his hand vaguely over his body. “Just put it all over me. Or dip me in a tub filled with it.”

 

Shiro propped Keith up with a few pillows before smoothing the balm gently over Keith’s right arm with his human hand. Keith let out a sigh of contentment as the pain faded with Shiro’s touch. Shiro’s hand moved carefully around Keith’s shoulder and to his bare chest, calloused fingers unintentionally grazing his nipples with broad strokes. A faint, visceral need flickered in the depths of Keith’s gut when Shiro’s fingers drifted down his sides and brushed across his abdomen.. “Lie on your left side so I can get your back,” Shiro instructed.

 

Keith obeyed and let the rhythmic pressure from Shiro’s hand lull him into a dreamy daze. Shiro’s occasional questions would pull Keith out of his stupor. “Anywhere I missed?” Shiro checked in.

 

“Huh uh,” Keith mumbled, unsure if he was drooling.

 

“You sure? Does your head feel OK?” Shiro asked as he reapplied some more clay to the gash on Keith’s shoulder before wrapping it with the Altean healing film. He then inched closer and lay down, his warm energy radiating behind Keith. “You believe me, right?”

 

“Believe what?” Keith muttered.

 

“That I still love you.” Shiro’s soft breath tickled the hairs on the back of Keith’s neck and sent goosebumps down his back.

 

“I… Yeah. I guess… I’m still in shock, so…” Keith mumbled.

 

“That’s not convincing, Keith. I want you to believe me. I love you,” Shiro repeated. “I don’t know how else to tell you or… convince you.”

 

All of his panicking and worrying earlier suddenly seemed unnecessary. Shiro was more concerned that Keith was physically and emotionally OK. Keith hummed and smiled. “You could…  _ show _ me,” Keith said suggestively, fueled by the ointment’s tingling warmth enveloping his body.

 

Shiro chuckled. “You want me to show you?” he asked playfully before placing a small kiss on Keith’s shoulder blade. His robotic hand ghosted down Keith’s side and to the bunched-up spacesuit at his hip. 

 

Keith couldn’t help his growing smile and the hot flush radiating from his cheeks. “Mmm, yeah… Can you be gentle?” He arched his spine slightly to push his backside into Shiro’s groin. 

 

Shiro’s breath hitched. “Ah…” His mechanical thumb smoothed circles over Keith’s hipbone through the folds of synthetic fabric. “I can be gentle… I can be really… really gentle,” he said in a low voice. He rocked his hips forward for more friction.

 

Keith gyrated his pelvis and pushed back harder. He was rewarded with Shiro’s sharp exhale in his ear. “Oh, god.”

 

The muscles in Keith’s groin fluttered as he felt Shiro’s length harden with each undulation. Keith then snickered. “I think you like playing doctor, don’t you.” Shiro responded by moaning and lazily licking up Keith’s neck. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Keith snarked. Shiro simply laughed. He then ground into Keith again and sighed his name.

 

Keith forgot about his body’s state and instinctively began to reach behind himself for Shiro but his injuries objected and Keith groaned in pain.

 

Shiro startled and pushed himself up. “You OK?!”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine… I forgot my shoulder doesn’t work…” Keith complained. “Maybe this will be easier if I’m flat on my back.”

 

Shiro gently tipped Keith onto his back, rearranging a few pillows to keep him propped up. “This better?” he asked. 

 

Keith nodded. The insulated spacesuit, however, was becoming oppressively uncomfortable. “This spacesuit is hot, though… Can you help me out?”

 

“With pleasure,” Shiro said as he leaned down and kissed Keith on the lips.

 

Keith snorted, “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”

 

“You want help or not?” Shiro joked as he shifted to kneel at Keith’s feet and pulled the rest of the Red Paladin’s suit and black baselayer leggings off. He quickly took survey of the smattering of bruises on his legs and looked relieved to not see anything too serious. Keith watched Shiro’s eyes slowly travel up his body and cloud with desire. Keith then bent his leg to rub against Shiro’s obvious arousal with his foot. With eyes half-lidded, Shiro gazed at Keith’s lips and moaned. “You look so beautiful like this,” Shiro admired. His voice rolled deep and lustful but as soon as the words left his lips he stilled and suddenly became self-conscious and distant.

 

“Like all bruised and banged up and covered in crazy-smelling Altean medical ointment?” Keith joked, unsure of what was going through Shiro’s head to distract him so abruptly.

 

“No… No, that’s not what I meant.” Shiro instantly sounded apologetic.

 

Keith spread his thighs and applied more pressure with his foot bringing Shiro back to the present. “Or did you mean, laid out on your bed in front of you in my underwear?” Keith ran his big toe up and down the hardened bulge constrained by Shiro’s layers.

 

Shiro nodded dumbly and gasped, “Oh, fuck…”

 

“I don’t think it’s fair that you still have clothes on,” Keith said. He wished he could just spring up from the bed and tear the black garments from Shiro’s body. Shiro smiled and reached down for the hem of his long-sleeved black shirt but he paused again and chewed his bottom lip, preoccupied with his thoughts.

 

“Shiro? It’s- it’s OK if you want to leave it on or… I don’t know. Whatever makes you feel comfortable…” Keith suddenly felt uneasy and a little guilty. Maybe he’d moved too fast for Shiro. “We don’t have to this,” he blurted.

 

“No, no. Sorry, my mind just... drifted. I’m fine,” he said, redirecting his attention. “I want this. I want you. I really, really want you.”

 

“I want you, too.” Keith met Shiro’s eyes with a blush. “Now take that damn shirt off,” he demanded, nudging Shiro’s length with his foot.

 

Shiro smiled and stripped off his black layers and underwear. Slowly and hungrily, he slid his hands up Keith’s thighs before straddling him. He then lowered himself to hover above Keith, lips just out of reach as they breathed the same air. He brushed a few strands of hair out of Keith’s eyes with his robotic hand and then hesitated when he became self-conscious of what he was touching Keith with. He abruptly removed his hand but Keith grasped it and placed the cool metal back on his cheek. “It’s OK. You’ve touched me hundreds of times with this hand. It doesn’t bother me,” he assured Shiro.

 

“OK. Sorry, I just-”

 

“Stop apologizing,” Keith said firmly. “I want you. Every part of you. That includes scars, prosthetics, tentacles… I don’t care.”

 

Shiro barked a laugh. “Tentacles?” he questioned with amusement.

 

“Yeah, kinky-ass shit. If you’re controlling it, I want it,” Keith answered, stifling his giggles.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind…” Then Shiro became serious again. “I love you. Thank you,” he whispered.

 

Keith lifted his head so that his lips could meet Shiro’s. “I love you, too,” he sighed between kisses. Hoping he wasn’t moving too quickly again, Keith lathed his tongue along Shiro’s bottom lip. Shiro’s lips curled into a smile before he parted them. Keith intertwined their tongues and prayed that he tasted as familiar to Shiro as Shiro tasted to him. The bruises on his back only protested a little as Keith bucked his hips up to rub against Shiro’s length, an invitation to go further. He didn't want to push Shiro, but he wanted Shiro to know that he didn't have to hold back.

 

Shiro’s head dropped beside Keith’s. “Oh, fuck,” he whimpered into the crook of Keith’s neck. His body automatically responded by grinding into Keith’s pelvis and Keith felt Shiro’s erection regain its prior length. It was achingly hard for him, because of him. The heat coiled tighter within Keith just knowing this. He cursed the fact that Shiro’s completely naked body was separated from his own by the fabric of his undergarment. Without even thinking, he reached for his underwear with his injured arm and groaned in discomfort.

 

Shiro startled again. “Am I hurting you?” he quickly asked.

 

“No, I’m OK. You’re not hurting me.”

 

“You sure? Did I bump your shoulder?”

 

“Shiro,” Keith pleaded. “My shoulder hurts a little because I moved it. You’re not going to hurt me, OK?” Then Keith rephrased. “I  _ know _ you’re not going to hurt me. I trust you. I’ll tell you if I need to adjust or something.”

 

“OK.” Shiro sounded hesitant but relieved. 

 

“I’m a little annoyed that you forgot my underwear, though…”

 

“Well, I wanted to tease you for a bit…” Shiro reasoned.

 

“Slathering ointment all over my fucking body was  _ plenty _ of teasing, Shiro.” Keith rubbed his clothed erection up into Shiro for emphasis. Shiro instinctively thrust down again causing Keith to gulp from the desire thickening in his groin. “Goddammit, that feels good.”

 

“You don’t want me to tease you anymore?” Shiro murmured in his ear. “I’m gonna come so fast the second those trunks are off.”

 

“Fuck yeah, I wanna feel you come on me, Shiro,” Keith encouraged.

 

“Oh, god,” Shiro whimpered. Keith felt the bed reverberate with Shiro’s trembling body. 

 

“Did you see anything that could function as lube in that medical kit?” Keith whispered.

 

Shiro pushed away from Keith’s body to think. “There may have been something…”

 

Keith bucked his hips playfully. “Go get it. And take my underwear off while you’re at it,” he demanded.

 

Shiro sat upright and reached for the bin of supplies. Keith watched his erection bob pornographically with each movement. Keith licked his lips, unable to take his eyes off the cock he thought he’d memorized from their days back at the Garrison. A small, clear bead of fluid glistened at the slit and Keith wished he could just grab Shiro to lick it off. He wanted to taste him so badly. “Shiro, when I’m all healed up, I’m gonna suck your cock so good. I can’t wait, I want it so bad,” Keith spoke with a sultry rasp.

 

Shiro looked up from the task at hand with a sidelong glance. “Dirty boy, listen to that mouth of yours!” 

 

Keith nudged Shiro with his foot. “You know I learned from you, right? You like my dirty mouth? You wanna fuck it?”

 

“I’m trying to concentrate,” Shiro scolded with a smirk as he searched the bin. “Don’t make me throw you in the healing pod against your will.”

 

“If that means I can have your cock in my mouth that much sooner, I might reconsider,” Keith teased.

 

“So bad…” Shiro said under his breath. He finally located a jar containing a colorless, scentless substance resembling petroleum jelly and dipped one finger in to test it.

 

“Can you still feel your finger?” Keith teased.

 

“Yes… I think it’ll do the trick.” Shiro set the jar aside to strip Keith's undergarment off.  He admired Keith while he scooped a large amount of the jelly-like substance out of the jar and slathered it on Keith's arousal, watching his reaction.

 

Keith couldn't help but writhe under Shiro’s firm, wet grasp. “Oh my god,” he whined. 

 

Shiro then climbed back on top to align his erection next to Keith's. He rolled his hips down, slow and hard. Keith refrained from crying out as his jaw went slack. Shiro crumpled onto his forearms and groaned. The electric air between the two stilled for a split second as they held their breaths before Shiro ground into Keith again.

 

Keith’s pelvis was pushed down into the mattress with building intensity; Shiro’s body trembled with increasing desperation. Every slick thrust, every hardened rib and pulsing blood vessel threatened Keith’s voluntary control of the soft, breathy sounds leaving his mouth. Finally Keith couldn’t hold it in and was startled by the obscenely loud moan that escaped. “Shhh!!” Keith hissed as if he could cover up the sound he’d just made.

 

Shiro snickered. “Don’t shush me, shush yourself!” he whispered.

 

Keith giggled. “I feel like Allura’s going to burst into the room and scold us. Lance probably has his ear on the door, ready to rat us out.”

 

“That’s not going to happen, don’t be silly,” Shiro murmured. “Oh… shit, you feel really good. I’m so hard.”

 

“Can we just do this for the rest of our lives? To hell with the universe,” Keith sighed. “Fuck.”

 

Shiro just laughed again, hips undulating with a steady rhythm. “Still OK? I’m not hurting you?”

 

“It’s perfect.  _ You’re _ perfect.”

 

Keith winced slightly as he raised his left hand to pull Shiro’s head into a sloppy kiss. His thighs tremored against Shiro’s hip bones as the rhythm became more urgent and needy.

 

“I’m- I’m so close…” Shiro panted, building up to a frantic pace. “Oh shit, Keith.”

 

Keith also felt the tingling heat in his gut threatening to overflow, but he focused on Shiro. He wanted to watch Shiro come and remember every detail.

 

“Oh, fuck… Fuck, Keith. Fuck…” Shiro panted with his eyes clenched tightly, his rapid pulse visible beneath the flushed skin of his temple. Keith felt every single powerful muscle in Shiro’s body convulse as sticky, liquid warmth spilled onto his abdomen. Shiro heaved unsteady breaths into Keith's mouth before regaining enough control to kiss him. 

 

Keith snaked his left arm between himself and Shiro to drag his fingers through Shiro's come. He brought his coated fingers up to his mouth and lapped up the white liquid from his fingers, maintaining eye contact with his partner, undulating his pelvis for friction. Shiros eyes grew wide as he watched.

 

“You taste good,” Keith complimented, sucking the last drop off of his thumb.

 

Shiro looked on with profound lust, mouth dropping open. “Goddammit, Keith. You are so fucking hot,” he praised. Shiro smeared the remaining come on Keith’s stomach with his human hand for additional lubricant and firmly grasped the throbbing shaft of Keith’s erection. Keith clapped his hand over his mouth to stifle a sob of pleasure from the sudden change in sensation.

 

Shiro pumped his fist while Keith’s hips jerked upward with shameless fervor until he was inundated with the primal rush of his climax. Shiro collapsed on top of Keith and lazily kissed him. The thick smell of sex overpowered the medicinal balm’s fragrance within the confines of the tiny room. 

 

Shiro eventually summoned enough energy to peel himself off of Keith to clean their mess, put away the medical supplies, and check Keith’s wound. When he was finished, he turned off the lights and leaned over Keith to kiss him. “Looks like the clay is doing its job. We’ll check it again in the morning.” 

 

“You definitely like playing doctor,” Keith teased, wrapping his uninjured arm around Shiro’s neck.

 

“I think  _ you _ like when I play doctor…” Shiro bantered as he rearranged pillows to elevate Keith’s shoulder a little better. “No sneaking back to your room in the morning,” he mandated. “You’re staying in my bed all day.”

 

“If you insist,” Keith replied with a smile before closing his exhausted eyes. Shiro lay beside Keith and quickly fell asleep.

 

\-----

 

Shiro paced his cell between sets. The arena was noisy today and could be heard down the corridor. But today was the ninth quintant. Shiro had only fought every twelfth quintant since the elder medic’s warning.

 

He heard four sentries' footsteps approach from down the hall as he finished a third set of pull ups. They arrived at his cell along with the witch and three of her eerily masked druids in tow. The guards flanked the cell door as they normally did on days that he was scheduled to fight. 

 

Wearing only shorts, Shiro stooped to pick up his standard-issue prisoner’s uniform. “It's not time yet,” Shiro stated in a monotone voice as he stalked towards the bars. 

 

“You are correct. It’s not,” the witch confirmed. “We need to take a few… samples for tomorrow, however.”

 

Shiro’s heartbeat threatened to race at the implication.  _ More experiments... _ He steadied his heart with his breath and maintained his uninterested composure. “Should I put on my uniform?”

 

“You can remain as you are…” Haggar said. It was difficult to discern the direction of her gaze with the absence of pupils but he felt her glowing eyes comb over the curvature of his hardened body and linger on the scars, a few of which were from her rather than the gladiator arena. 

 

One of the guards unlocked the cell and permitted Shiro to step out. “What’s this for? I still have training to do,” Shiro said, keeping his voice calm.

 

“I have a surprise for you,” the witch said as she smiled and motioned for one of her druids to present her latest invention to her most intriguing prisoner. It was another arm. It was much larger, made of a black metal with dagger-looking spikes protruding from the shoulder. Extending past the shoulder was the ball portion of a ball and socket joint. 

 

Shiro swallowed his panic. It was a bigger arm, intended to take more of his body away from him. “But… this one is fine. My body hasn’t rejected it. It works well-”

 

Haggar interrupted him. “It’s not for  _ that _ arm. It will replace your  _ other _ arm.”

 

Shiro looked at the fingers of the lifeless prosthesis and sure enough, it was a left arm. His constantly indifferent façade shattered with fear. “What?! No!” he cried.

 

“Find time in Ulaz’s schedule for the procedure,” she instructed one of the druids. “Preferably tomorrow.”

 

Shiro’s chest pounded with terror. “No, please,” he pleaded. The witch simply looked at him with hauntingly expressionless eyes. “Just leave me alone. Please, leave me alone.” His voice shook.

 

Haggar cocked her head to the side and then reached her hand up to cup Shiro’s jaw. “But you look so beautiful like this.” Her words chilled what remained of Shiro’s soul and sent shivers up his spine. “I will make you stronger, just like a Galra. You will see.”

 

Shiro’s legs gave out. He grasped at her robes and begged. “No! Please, no.”

 

Her sharp teeth flashed behind her pleased sneer. She liked when Shiro was submissive, but apparently she liked it more when he was afraid.  “Like a Galra,” she repeated. “I need some tissue samples for now and a more detailed scan of your joint structure to ensure the fit.” Shiro continued his panicked pleas at her feet, clearly not as thrilled with Haggar’s plan as she was. 

 

She turned to glide down the corridor but was yanked back by her robes held in Shiro’s glowing fist. She immediately lost her patience and grasped the pure white streak of hair at his forehead, sending him backwards with a jolt. He quickly scrambled to his feet, shouting obscenities, charging at her with his cybernetic prosthesis engaged again. She bared her teeth and turned to one of the guards. “Sedate him,” she growled.

 

The guard readied a large needle while the three other guards grabbed Shiro and held him down, forcing his face down into the cold floor. “No!” He struggled even though he knew it was pointless. He was clearly outnumbered but fear had taken hold of his reason so he continued to thrash powerlessly until the needle punctured his skin.

 

\-----

 

“No!” Shiro shouted into the darkness of his room. A familiar hand grasped at his human arm as he tried to catch his breath. The familiar and comforting presence slowed his heart rate and Shiro was finally able to take in a calming breath.

 

“You OK?” the familiar and beautiful face whispered. It was part Galra. But also part human. Shiro found solace in the glimmering purple eyes. Keith’s eyes.

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Shiro responded.

 

Keith smiled. “I’m kind of used to it. I don’t mind. As long as you’re OK.”

 

“I’m OK.” Shiro thought back to his dream. The torturing tests and experiments were still frightening, however being a little less human was what had scared Shiro most. But looking at Keith now, being less human didn't seem as frightening and the residual anxiety from his dream dissolved completely. Shiro fell back into a peaceful sleep. His left human hand intertwined in Keith’s, his right cybernetic hand over his own heart, sensors registering the steady beat in his chest. They were both made up of different parts originating from opposite ends of the universe. And yet they were still made of the same stardust.

 

\-----

 

For the first time since embarking on this crazy space adventure, Keith’s morning started in his favorite place in the entire universe. Shiro’s bed.  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn’t draw out the awkwardness too long for everyone. Not my best sex scene but I thought that it had been a while for both of them and they’d been through so much that it might be a little awkward, especially for Shiro. Thanks for reading.


	5. Wish you were here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during episodes 9 and 11 and essentially takes us to the end of season 2... And, as usual, direct quotes taken from the series are obviously not my original work.

Keith slept through the entire day and awoke the following morning. He stretched in Shiro’s bed and no longer felt excruciating pain in his shoulder. His body was still sore, but it was a vast improvement from two nights ago. He opened his eyes to Shiro writing at a small table in his room. Keith’s movements from the bed caught Shiro’s attention; he looked over at Keith and smiled.

 

“Morning. How are you feeling?”

 

“So much better, it’s crazy. That healing clay really worked wonders,” Keith yawned, pushing himself up to sit.

 

“That's great. If you’re feeling up to it, you should sit in on the strategy meeting with Kolivan and Antok later today. I think we’re onto something, but we need to hammer out the details and I think the whole team should be present.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Keith eyed the dog-eared notebook on Shiro’s desk. “What are you writing?”

 

“Ah, it started as sort of a flight log. I was just jotting down where we went, coordinates, galaxies, observations, that sort of stuff. But the observations kind of took over and it’s more of a journal at this point. If I make it out of this alive, someone might want to read about the crazy stuff I experienced,” Shiro explained.

 

“I don’t know why you keep bringing that up… about you not making it.” Keith hated when Shiro got like that.

 

Shiro hesitated. “Well… you never know. It's good to be prepared. And I tell you that because the second in command always needs to be ready to step up.” Shiro moved from the table to sit on the edge of the bed. Keith felt like saying,  _ I’m hardly second in command, _ but he didn’t want to dwell on the subject so the sentiment was left unsaid. Shiro leaned over and kissed Keith on the cheek. “Come on, let’s get ready. Do you need help getting dressed?”

 

“Um… I might need some help.” Keith smirked.

 

\-----

 

The plan was complicated but impressive. Of course, Keith and Hunk were stuck with the shittiest task as they divided up the to-do list.  _ Seriously, there's nowhere else to get fucking scaultrite in the entire universe? _ And of course, Allura made a snide comment questioning her trust in Keith.

 

To prepare for their mission, Hunk raided the kitchen for portable snacks while Keith searched a supply room and collected some of the things Coran said they’d need. Keith was crouched down, sifting through items on a shelf when he heard Shiro and Allura whispering in the hallway outside of the supply room. He stilled and listened.

 

“Allura, please don’t be so hard on Keith. This has been difficult for him as well.”

 

“Difficult?  _ Difficult!?  _ My entire planet was destroyed because of his people. Don’t talk to me about  _ ‘difficult!’ _ ” Allura hissed.

 

“I know you and your people have suffered greatly, but you can’t generalize like that. The Blades have proven to be trustworthy. And you  _ know _ Keith. You know that he is wholeheartedly dedicated to Voltron. He’s the same person he was two days ago, before you even knew he was Galra.”

 

“We cannot sacrifice our success by trusting the wrong people. If there are good Galra, then where have they been for the past ten thousand years?!”

 

“Where’ve  _ you _ been for the past ten thousand years?” Shiro countered. “Where’s Voltron been? Let’s forget about the past and move forward, Allura.”

 

“You have no idea what it’s like to be thrown into a cryopod against your will, while hearing the screams of your people and the buildings of your city crumbling around you. My entire civilization was annihilated by the Galra and I was powerless. How  _ dare _ you.” Keith heard Allura push past Shiro angrily. Shiro huffed a frustrated exhale and then the sound of his boots followed Allura’s down the hall.

 

Keith couldn’t deny that it hurt to hear the scorn in Allura’s voice. But he couldn’t deny that he understood Allura’s perspective as well. He, too, had hated the Galra up until a few days ago.

 

Keith sat for a moment reflecting on the reality of his heritage. Not all Galra were bad. And as his mind briefly scratched the surface of Earth’s more recent history, Keith realized that not all humans were good. But despite the genocide committed by the likes of Hitler, there were leaders like Gandhi who promoted peace and tolerance. No single population could simply be categorized as good or bad. He would just have to rise above Allura’s prejudice and prove himself to her. Shouldering the bag of supplies, he stood with determination and exited the room.

 

“Oh, there you are!” Keith heard Hunk call down the hallway. “Pidge wants to show us something before we all take off.”

 

Keith and Hunk joined their fellow paladins on the command bridge at Pidge’s seat. “So, I wanted you guys to see this. Coran and I were performing a routine scan yesterday and we found this faint signal coming from Earth,” she said, pulling up their planet on her screen.

 

“Whoa! Are you serious?” Hunk interjected. “Like, from where? Who is it? Is it the Garrison?”

 

“I haven’t gotten that far and don’t have time to look into it now, but Coran said it was OK to dedicate a few more scanners to hone in on Earth to see if we can pick up a stronger signal in the meantime,” Pidge explained. “We can’t assume it’s from the United States, so let’s not get our hopes up. It could be any number of space agencies in Europe, Russia, China… It could also just be a fluke transient radio signal or something.”

 

“Holy crap. I feel like I haven’t had time to even think about Earth, you know?” Lance spoke up. “I mean, obviously I’ve thought about my family but… What the heck is happening there? The Garrison has to be investigating stuff. Right? There was an alien space pod and explosions and Shiro showed up. And… we went missing...”

 

The team fell silent as they considered the possibilities and the likely effects on the Garrison, their country, and maybe even the world.

 

Shiro finally spoke. “Well, let’s finish our tasks first; the current plan is the priority. And hopefully we’ll have a moment to analyze this signal a little more once we reconvene. Thanks for looking into this, Pidge.”

 

Still stunned, the team slowly mobilized and said their goodbyes. Hunk nervously shook hands with Lance and then Pidge. Keith didn’t care what everyone saw or thought and simply melted into Shiro’s embrace as they bade each other farewell.

 

“Be safe and come back to me,” Shiro whispered.

 

“You, too,” Keith whispered back.

 

\-----

 

Keith felt his body’s aches and pains catching up with him as he climbed out of Red and walked over to Yellow to help Hunk unload the scaultrite. Keith had pushed himself to the limits between the weblum mission and then fighting the revived robeast on the Balmera. He hoped there would be one night to rest before the team took on Zarkon.

 

“I feel like we got screwed in all this. That had to have been the crappiest job on the to-do list,” Hunk complained to Keith as they made their way from the hangars and back towards the command bridge on the castle. “Stupid weblum... And then I’ve gotta hold off that robeast on steroids all by myself?! And then you get zapped by the stupid thing’s lasers after I do!? Ugh, I’m exhausted just thinking about it… and hungry.” 

 

When they reached the command bridge, Keith spotted Allura and an odd owl-like creature huddled in front of a screen. He suddenly heard Shiro racing onto the command bridge. “Are you OK?!” Shiro asked as he crashed into Keith and held him tightly.

“I’m fine, really,” Keith said, trying to calm Shiro. He glanced over to Hunk, who looked away quickly, and then to Allura, who also averted her eyes.

 

“I think Hunk needs a hug, too,” Keith whispered.

 

Shiro laughed as he pulled away and then put a hand on Hunk’s shoulder. “You all right, man? You really pulled through for the team back there. I mean it.”

 

“Ah, thanks. Thank you. Yeah, I’m… I’m all good,” Hunk stuttered as he bashfully scratched the back of his head. Keith smiled. The other paladins were also disarmed by Shiro’s praises; he just had that kind of effect on people.

 

Looking like he had an important but personal question to ask, Hunk opened his mouth. “Umm… are you guys, like, uh-”

 

“Whatever, Pidge!!” Hunk was interrupted by Lance loudly entering the room.

 

“I don’t think ‘Sharpshooter’ is going to stick, Lance. I’m just being honest,” Pidge retorted, obviously irritated that Lance was not going to drop the subject of his self-appointed title.

 

“Keith! You OK, dude? I can’t believe you got blasted by that laser!” Lance exclaimed, jogging up to the rest of his teammates.

 

“Yeah, you need to stop getting hit,” Shiro joked, ruffling Keith’s hair. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

 

“I’m fine.” Keith brushed Shiro’s hand off and then tried diverting attention away from himself. “Allura, have you heard from Coran?”

 

“Yes,” she replied curtly. Keith bit his tongue.  _ Don’t make it worse. _

 

“So we ready to pop through the wormhole and get back to Olkarion?” Lance asked.

 

“Yes.” Allura responded with more enthusiasm. “I’ve checked in with Coran and the teludav is nearly complete. Hunk, thank you for getting the scaultrite.”

 

“No problem… You know, Keith was there, too,” Hunk piped up in Keith’s defense. Allura just answered with a hateful glare in Keith’s direction. Keith matched her stare and refused to stand down.

 

\-----

 

As the Olkari sunset faded to dark, the paladins stood reflecting in silence on the gravity of their final battle. If they were successful, Zarkon’s reign would be over tomorrow. One by one, the paladins slowly retired to the castle, leaving Keith and Shiro as they stood in the light of Olkarion’s two moons.

 

Finally, Keith broke the night’s silence with a snicker as his mind wandered to something Lance had mentioned earlier. “So… I uh, heard that Slav made you lose your temper.”

 

Shiro immediately tensed up and growled, “Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“I heard you turned red and screamed at him,” Keith laughed. “Like, you completely lost your shit!”

 

“Keep it up and you’re sleeping in your own bed tonight,” Shiro threatened.

 

Keith laughed some more and then spoke in a more patronizing tone while he reached up to squeeze Shiro’s cheeks. “Awww, does Slav make Shiro cranky?” Shiro narrowed his eyes as Keith stood on his toes to press his lips to Shiro’s. When Shiro didn’t kiss back, Keith playfully smacked his chest and giggled, “Kiss me, dammit.”

 

Shiro smiled and kissed back softly. Keith hummed with contentment. “Let’s go inside,” he said quietly before taking Shiro’s hand to lead him back into the castle.

 

As they walked through the cavernous hallway, they heard the acoustic guitar of a familiar song faintly echoing from the command bridge. “Do you hear that?” Shiro asked.

 

“Yeah… that’s definitely not the weird instrumental music Coran listens to,” Keith replied. The guitar riffs pulled at Keith’s heartstrings and filled him with nostalgic memories of sitting in his dorm room at the Garrison as he familiarized himself with the classic rock that Shiro often listened to.

 

The other three paladins were huddled in front of the screen at Pidge’s seat. “I think my great grandfather listened to this stuff,” Hunk commented.

 

“Dude, this is definitely from the oldies station,” Lance scoffed.

 

“I don’t know… I kind of like it. It sounds familiar,” Pidge contributed as the vocals started.

 

_ So, so you think you can tell _

_ Heaven from hell _

_ Blue skies from pain _

 

“It’s Pink Floyd. How have you three never heard of them?! Where’s this music even coming from?” Shiro asked.

 

“It’s the signal that we received from Earth,” Pidge explained, pulling up a map on the screen.

 

“Is it just a stray radio frequency?” Keith asked.

 

“No, it’s only this song. And it just repeats over and over,” Pidge answered.

 

“Those are definitely Galaxy Garrison coordinates…” Shiro thought aloud, inspecting the map on Pidge’s screen.

 

_ Did they get you to trade _

_ Your heroes for ghosts? _

_ Hot ashes for trees? _

_ Hot air for a cool breeze? _

 

“I thought the Galaxy Garrison used binary to send messages into space. Why would they choose to communicate with an old-ass song?” Lance questioned.

 

“They wouldn’t,” Shiro reasoned. “It’s civilian.” He and Keith looked at each other, thinking the same thing. “There’s no other information embedded? Are you sure it’s just this song?”

 

“Hmmm.” Pidge tapped her fingers as she thought. “I didn’t think to download it. There could be something hidden in the file itself. I’ll need to save it as a raw file and poke around,” she said.

 

_ How I wish, how I wish you were here _

_ We're just two lost souls _

_ Swimming in a fish bowl _

_ Year after year _

 

“Shiro did you hear anything weird in the song? Usually the song distorts or echos if there’s text hidden within the file,” Pidge asked as she saved the file in a raw format and opened it.

 

As if on cue, Shiro heard an odd distortion in the song after the final lyrics were sung.

 

_ Running over the same old ground _

_ And how we found _

_ The same old fears _

_ Wish you were here _

 

“There!” Shiro exclaimed.

 

“That was easy,” Pidge said.

 

“Wait, why would someone do such a crappy job of hiding the file?” Hunk wondered. “That was obvious.”

 

“They want us to find it,” Pidge said. “Any other alien race might just pass it by, not being familiar with the song. And if the Garrison intercepted it they’d probably overlook the distortion as interference. Whoever this is picked something personal to catch our attention…” Pidge paused and looked up at Shiro before looking back to her screen and searching around the file. “Oh, wait. Here it is,” she announced. “So right after the final ‘wish you were here’ line, there’s some hidden text:

 

‘Blades on Earth, imprisoned and underground.

Alliances are being forged.

Friends await your command.’”

 

“That’s got to be the guys,” Shiro said, turning to Keith. “Right? You said Moore was discharged for hacking the Garrison, Woolf quit and went to Boeing and now has access to all kinds of technology, Erikson resigned because he wasn’t buying the Garrison’s cover-up either. It’s them!”

 

“Erikson? Like the former Kerberos Press Secretary?” Lance asked.

 

“Yeah, he was- is- my good friend.”

 

“Oh, I remember he threw those big parties at the Garrison,” Hunk recalled. “They didn’t let students crash and Lance always roped me into trying to sneak into them… We never made it in.”

 

“Well, Keith succeeded,” Shiro chuckled, elbowing him.

 

Keith simply smiled and recalled his first proper conversation with Shiro. “Medina’s gotta be back from Mars by now, right?” he asked.

 

“I’ve completely lost all concept of time. It’s not a long mission, so I think he’d be back,” Shiro answered. “If Moore’s hacking, he’d need at least one guy on the inside…”

 

“Dude! Sergeant Medina was the shit!!” Lance exclaimed. “He was my drill sergeant during new recruit boot camp. He was super intimidating and always singled me out and gave me a hard time. He would yell and swear at the cadets but he’d walk by and say the most terrible things to me in Spanish. I was ready to quit and was so homesick by the end of the first week, but when we finished up on Friday, he brought me to the cafeteria’s rooftop. He’d made rice, beans, and plantains for me and gave me pointers on how to survive the rest of boot camp.”

 

Keith and Shiro laughed. “That's  _ so _ Medina,” they said in unison. The other three paladins paused and looked at the couple, mentally taking note of the history that Keith and Shiro likely shared before Voltron took hold of their lives.

 

“Shiro, if the message is civilian, how can we be sure it's your friends?” Lance inquired.

 

Shiro smiled, grateful that his memories of the Garrison were no longer out of reach, thanks to Keith. “We were studying for finals in Woolf’s dorm room. He’s from Seattle so he’s big into nineties-grunge and Erikson had never heard of Pearl Jam and we were all shocked. Erikson was sent to this prestigious boarding school and was kind of sheltered so he didn’t know much about music and pop culture. So rather than studying, we all took turns playing songs that we thought Erikson needed to know. Moore played some crazy obscure electronic slam poetry stuff so we had to cut him off. Medina played some terrible Reggaeton. I played Pink Floyd and I started with this song. So, I know it has to be them. The only thing is that I don’t think they’d be able to assemble a satellite; they’re pretty tech savvy but they’d still need someone from engineering and mechanics. And I don’t know who else they’d trust at the Garrison to let them in on a project like this.”

 

“Celine?” Keith wondered.

 

“Maybe…” Shiro replied.

 

“Wait. Celine Breton? I had a huge crush on her…” Hunk admitted. “I made her cookies. A lot of cookies.”

 

“Celine’s my friend, I had some of those cookies. They were really good,” Keith said, laughing.

 

“Whoa, broody-mullet boy had a friend at the Garrison?” Lance teased.

 

Keith rolled his eyes and chose to ignore Lance. “Hunk, I thought you made cookies for  _ all  _ of your mentors.”

 

“No… No. Just her.” Hunk blushed with embarrassment.

 

“OK guys, sorry to interrupt, but did everyone get that first sentence in the message?” Pidge asked, getting the group back on track. “It sounds like they’re intentionally being vague but… they’re saying the Blade of Marmora is already on Earth. And they’re being imprisoned?”

 

The group nodded quietly. And despite the “imprisonment” aspect of the message, Keith felt the slightest relief in the possibility that his alien heritage was on the “good side of Galra.”

 

“Who’s imprisoning them?” Hunk questioned. “Is it the Garrison?”

 

“Hopefully Moore and the guys are finding out,” Shiro answered. “But knowing how the Garrison dealt with Kerberos, I don’t think they can be trusted.”

 

“Well, the fact that your friends had to take matters into their own hands says something…The Garrison is not behind us,” Pidge added with disdain. “I never trusted them in the first place.”

 

“This is nuts. I never really thought about having to bring the fight back to Earth,” Lance said. “What should we tell them? What do we write back?”

 

The paladins all looked to their leader. “Well, our message really depends on tomorrow’s outcome.” Shiro seemed to sense his team’s apprehension in his statement and rephrased. “We’re going to be giving them good news because we’re going to defeat Zarkon. But everyone needs to rest up and stay focused; we’re leaving first thing in the morning with that teludav. We’ll address this message afterwards and find out what Kolivan and Antok know about the Blade of Marmora’s presence on Earth. For now, everyone needs to go to bed; we have a big day tomorrow.”

 

“Can we listen to the song one more time?” Pidge asked with pleading eyes.

 

“Yeah, I think it was growing on me,” Lance added. “It was nice to hear something from home.”

 

Shiro sighed and gave in. “OK. One more time. And then lights out.”

 

\-----

 

The prospect of returning back to Earth left Keith giddy. Coupled with the anxiety of facing Zarkon the next day, Keith was unable to close his eyes as he lay on his side next to Shiro. “What do you think is happening back at home?” Keith wondered aloud. “It's kind of nice knowing that someone on Earth knows about us.”

 

“True. The problem is that even if the guys could influence the government to intervene or empower the public to pressure the Garrison, Earth is too technologically behind to assist us in any sort of meaningful way.”

 

“Well, I wonder what kind of technology the Blades on Earth have. They've gotta have something. Weapons, specs for their aircraft…”

 

“I'm interested to find out what the guys have uncovered,” Shiro said.

 

“Yeah, me too. I just can't believe we could go home soon. What's the first thing you’d do?” Keith asked. “I’d eat a burger.”

 

Shiro snorted. “That's the first thing you’d do?! I'd have to bring you through the drive-through before I could go home?”

 

“Hell yeah. And a milkshake while you’re at it.”

 

“I’d call my parents first. And then I’d just stand in the sun. I miss the feeling of the sun on my skin,” Shiro said quietly, running his fingers through Keith’s long locks. “Do you remember what my mom told you when we were leaving my aunt’s house?”

 

Keith smiled. “Yeah, she said that she wanted me to come with you next time you visited Japan. I want to lie around and eat her pancakes all day.”

 

“You and your damn pancakes,” Shiro chuckled. “I wonder what time of year it would be when we get back. I want to take you to Japan in the spring for  _ hanami _ .”

 

Keith shifted his head from his pillow to rest on Shiro’s chest. “What’s  _ hanami _ ? I forgot everything from the Japanese crash course you gave me.”

 

“ _ Hanami _ is when the cherry blossoms are in peak bloom. There’s a park on the river near where I grew up. It’s so beautiful, especially with the petals floating in the water. I want you to see it.”

 

“Oh, jeez. What is it with Asians and cherry blossoms? My mom was crazy about that, too. She’d drag me to the crowded-ass botanical gardens every year. It was such a long drive and then all we’d do was just sit under the trees if there was even room.”

 

“Well, cherry blossoms mean different things in different cultures. I think in China it’s more of a symbol of beauty and fertility,” Shiro said.

 

“That’s not turning me on if you’re trying to talk dirty,” Keith joked.

 

“Brat,” Shiro said, laughing and mussing Keith’s hair. “I’m not sure what it means in Korea, I think it’s similar to Japan. It’s a reminder to bring your awareness to the present and admire natural beauty wherever you find it but to also remember that it’s temporary. It’s more symbolic of the fragile cycle of life and death and that beauty and happiness can’t last forever. The blossoms are only there for a week and then they wilt and we move on with our lives. They symbolize impermanence.”

 

“Way to bring the mood down,” Keith groaned. “I was going to try to make out with you but now I’m going to go sit in the corner and be depressed.”

 

“Oh, come on. It’s just the reality of things. We need to be comfortable with change; we can’t cling to anything for too long. We’ll look back and Voltron will be one of many chapters in our lives. Maybe we’ll be heroes for a little while but it will be temporary. There were paladins before us. There will likely be paladins after us.”

 

“If you start singing ‘Circle of Life’, I’m leaving,” Keith teased.

 

“I told you  _ WALL-E  _ was my favorite Disney movie,” Shiro joked. “ _ Lion King _ was just OK for me.”

 

“Thank god,” Keith snarked. “I wasn’t sure since there’s that whole Elton John soundtrack thing…”

 

“I don’t really listen to Elton John,” Shiro said defensively.

 

“I watched you fist pump when I played ‘Rocket Man’ at your going-away party. I mean, who fucking fist pumps to Elton John?”

 

“Oh, that’s it…” Shiro grabbed Keith’s arm before flipping him on his back to tickle him senseless.

 

“Agh!! Stop!” Keith giggled and squirmed.

 

“I’ll stop when you agree to be nice,” Shiro laughed.

 

“OK! OK!” Keith held his hands up in surrender. “I’ll be nice.”

 

Shiro leaned down over Keith, hovering just out of reach. “Promise?” he whispered.

 

“I promise,” Keith whispered back as Shiro dipped his head to close the distance between their lips. Keith eagerly reached for his head to pull him even closer.

 

“We need to get to bed,” Shiro mumbled into the next kiss.

 

“We  _ are _ in bed,” Keith argued playfully.

 

Shiro lifted his head and kissed Keith on the tip of his nose. “You know what I mean,” he said, sitting up to turn off the light. Shiro lay back down beside Keith and kissed his temple. “I love you.”

 

Keith smiled and got comfortable, nestling into Shiro’s warmth. “Love you, too.”

 

“I’m taking you to see the cherry blossoms in Japan,” Shiro said, closing his eyes.

 

“I’m holding you to it,” Keith replied.

 

\-----

 

The once turbulent waves of Shiro’s subconscious calmed to placid stillness. With his mind at ease and heart full of love, Shiro slept peacefully through the night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 Aftermath runs parallel to this part and touches on how Shiro’s friends (AKA Team Fuck the Garrison) get to transmitting Pink Floyd in order to communicate with Team Voltron.
> 
> Update: There will be a part 5! It's a direct continuation of part 2 (i know, i should've planned out the order of these parts a little better) but I will try to explain the necessary stuff from part 2 if you'd like to read part 5, without getting into part 2, to get my take on where Shiro is teleported to.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! And hugethank you to avidbeader for beta reading.
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/latart) even though I don't do much with it, feel free to come by and bother me. I'm happy to answer questions and welcome feedback.


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